We are getting our Christmas tree today! I've always loved Christmas... It's the only holiday I decorate for and love everything about it. The smell of the tree... The lights giving off a soft glow in the living room at night... Everything just feels so cozy with all the decorations out. Let's not forget the rum and egg nog!
A week after Dylan proposed (8 years ago!), I was so excited to get our first Christmas tree together. We didn't have any money to decorate it, so Dylan said we should just wait till the following year to to get one. He could see the disappointment on my face... A few days later when I returned home from work, in our living room stood the most beautiful 10 foot tree. Although it was naked, it was the most beautiful Christmas tree I had ever had. The following Christmas I was pregnant with Aidan and we were staying with his parents while building our new house. Even though there was a foot of snow out, and we didn't have our own living room to put a tree in, we made our way out with my in-laws to help them pick the perfect tree; and so the tradition began. It's important to me that this day is perfect. And if you have children, you will understand that it is damn near impossible to have the perfect tree getting experience. Throw in Dylan (who always thinks our ceiling is higher than it is), myself who requests a tree that has stiff branches that are spaced enough to hang ornaments, but not so spaced that it looks like a Charlie Brown tree, and two kids that will inevitably complain that they are too cold, or they have to pee, or they are hungry, etc.
Two years ago was the worst tree getting experience in our history. Money was tight and so when I heard about this tree farm not too far from our home that offered pony rides, hot chocolate for the kids and all trees were $20, I had a small hope that we could still get the perfect tree! Compared to the $100+ we were used to spending, I was ecstatic! This was going to be the most magical day yet! In my excitement, I rushed the kids into the car. It didn't matter that I had no address for this "blissful" tree farm, I knew we would find it! We drove around for awhile in the area where I had been told this tree farm existed with no luck. My hopes of having the "perfect" day were rapidly coming to an end. We settled on the next tree farm we found... and as we unpacked the kids, I realized I had forgotten their winter coats, gloves and hats. No worries! We were going to find the perfect tree in minutes! As the wind whipped our faces, and the kids began to whine that they were freezing, Dylan and I started to argue. It was my fault for forgetting the kids clothing! Why didn't I have an address for this tree farm! The tree doesn't have to be perfect! The day was ruined... and as we loaded our $20, lop-sided Douglas fir tree with droopy branches on top of the van, all I could think was, "I am going to salvage this day. I am going to have a glass of wine and decorate this tree and make it beautiful. I am going to put on Mariah Carey's Christmas album (even though it kills Dylan to listen to it) because, dammit, it is going to be a good day"! We got the tree home, set up and as I was getting the ornaments out, without asking, Dylan brought me a glass of wine. "I think you need this", he said with a cheeky smile. I slowly began decorating the tree and it was starting to look decent. I was so wrapped up in the moment that I had totally forgot about the glass of wine. Where had I put it? "Dylan? Do you know where I put my glass of wine"? His face turned red. "Don't even tell me you drank it", I said in my serial killer voice. We literally had a dollar in the bank, and the bottle of wine had been a gift to me from his parents, and I had saved a glass for today. He doesn't even drink white wine! His silence said it all. It was the final straw. "NEXT YEAR HAD BETTER BE THE MOST !#@@$#^%^ING MAGICAL TREE GETTING EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE OR I'M GOING TO DO IT.... I WILL GET A FAKE TREE", I screamed! Looking back now it is hysterical, but in that moment I wanted to start searching the classifieds for rentals where I was going to move when I packed up my belongings and left, lol!
Last year really was the most magical tree-getting experience of my life. It made up for the previous year 10x over. My sister-in-law had gone to a tree farm the year before and she promised it would not disappoint. As we walked through the entrance, we were greeted by a "helper" who handed us a saw, explained where we would find the tree that met my criteria. Carols were piped through speakers in the fields that added to the Christmas cheer. Afterwards, we were treated to live carollers and even Santa himself was there for the children to have their pictures taken with (with our own cameras at no extra cost). As we sat around the fire they had burning with hot chocolate in hand, I could not have been any happier.
As we set out today, on what I hope will be another "perfect" day, I'm reminded of my goal for this month's Happiness Project... Stay in the moment... enjoy the day for what it is. Whether it's perfect or not is not important. This day will be perfect, regardless. I am spending the day with my family, and coming home to a warm house. Mariah Carey is on stand-by, and of course the all important glass of wine! Today will be perfect in it's imperfection. :)
Sunday 2 December 2012
Saturday 24 November 2012
Just another minute...
It's the most wonderful time of the year because it's starting to feel like Christmas! While grabbing a coffee on my break at school today, I heard my first carol of the year playing and I couldn't help getting that feeling. You know, the one that makes you want to bust out the decorations and start baking? My neighbours have started turning on their Christmas lights which means my husband will begin to be harassed to put ours up starting tomorrow. ;)
Next month's goal in my "Happiness Project" is to be more mindful, to stay in the moment. What a perfect time of year to hone these skills. Nothing like major family commitments, an overloaded work and homework schedule and honouring family traditions to distract you from the task at hand. But as I delve into all the festivities December is sure to bring, I am committing to stay in the moment. And to also pay attention to the quiet moments that may have otherwise passed me by.
Tonight after bath and reading time for the kiddies, I tucked Aidan in, tucked Natalie in as per our routine and was about to head downstairs when I heard Aidan call me back into his room. His needed me to lay his pillow flat. "Bud, your pillow was laying flat when I tucked you in a minute ago", I reminded him. He relied, "I know Mom, I just wanted to spend another minute with you". For all the grief my 6 year old (going on 60 year old) son gives me, he occasionally says little things like that that melt my heart. I laid his pillow down and was about to leave when a little voice in my head reminded me to stay in the moment. I asked him how his day was (I had left for school just as he was getting up this am and didn't arrive back home till the late afternoon) and as we chatted, he played with my hair. It was about two minutes we spent chatting and I couldn't help think that one day I will most likely never have moments like that with him... and that I really needed to cherish him.
So whether it is a small moment like the one I had tonight, or an annual event like packing up to find the perfect Christmas tree, I am committed to "be mindful" of my attitude and to stay in the moment.
Two weeks ago, our family adopted two new babies... Fur babies to be exact! I know what your are thinking... Who in their right mind would adopt two puppies at the same time? It has been very busy, but our new additions are very sweet and they happen to be the cutest little things you have ever seen! (I may be slightly biased, but they are seriously adorable). Which happens to be a very good thing, because if they weren't, I would have lost my mind by now with all of the pee and poo I have cleaned up! But having two is easier in some ways. For example, they don't cry at night... not even once because they have each other to snuggle with. I have found myself comparing the experience of new puppies to the first few weeks I had my own babies. Yes, both involve a ton of pee and poo... And I just can't believe how fast they are growing up! And that they have such little personalities, right from the get go, just like my own children did. Jax is my snuggly boy. He will let his sister beat him up for awhile, but when she crosses the line, he lets her know. He gets very upset if you scold him for peeing on the floor and wants to come snuggle you immediately to say sorry. Jules on the other hand is full of energy and always wants to play. She is eager to please and bosses her brother around even though he has a major size advantage. Both are very sweet though in completely different ways and most importantly, the kids just adore them. Even Toby my cat (who sometimes thinks he is a dog) is coming around to the puppies and I'm sure in time he will let them know who the real boss is, lol! Yes, the puppies are a huge addition of work on top of our already busy schedules, but I love seeing the smiles on Aidan and Natalie's faces when they are with them and that is definitely something I will always cherish.
So here's to staying in the moment... Enjoying every little bit of my life (the good and not so good) and to making the most of it!
Next month's goal in my "Happiness Project" is to be more mindful, to stay in the moment. What a perfect time of year to hone these skills. Nothing like major family commitments, an overloaded work and homework schedule and honouring family traditions to distract you from the task at hand. But as I delve into all the festivities December is sure to bring, I am committing to stay in the moment. And to also pay attention to the quiet moments that may have otherwise passed me by.
Tonight after bath and reading time for the kiddies, I tucked Aidan in, tucked Natalie in as per our routine and was about to head downstairs when I heard Aidan call me back into his room. His needed me to lay his pillow flat. "Bud, your pillow was laying flat when I tucked you in a minute ago", I reminded him. He relied, "I know Mom, I just wanted to spend another minute with you". For all the grief my 6 year old (going on 60 year old) son gives me, he occasionally says little things like that that melt my heart. I laid his pillow down and was about to leave when a little voice in my head reminded me to stay in the moment. I asked him how his day was (I had left for school just as he was getting up this am and didn't arrive back home till the late afternoon) and as we chatted, he played with my hair. It was about two minutes we spent chatting and I couldn't help think that one day I will most likely never have moments like that with him... and that I really needed to cherish him.
So whether it is a small moment like the one I had tonight, or an annual event like packing up to find the perfect Christmas tree, I am committed to "be mindful" of my attitude and to stay in the moment.
Two weeks ago, our family adopted two new babies... Fur babies to be exact! I know what your are thinking... Who in their right mind would adopt two puppies at the same time? It has been very busy, but our new additions are very sweet and they happen to be the cutest little things you have ever seen! (I may be slightly biased, but they are seriously adorable). Which happens to be a very good thing, because if they weren't, I would have lost my mind by now with all of the pee and poo I have cleaned up! But having two is easier in some ways. For example, they don't cry at night... not even once because they have each other to snuggle with. I have found myself comparing the experience of new puppies to the first few weeks I had my own babies. Yes, both involve a ton of pee and poo... And I just can't believe how fast they are growing up! And that they have such little personalities, right from the get go, just like my own children did. Jax is my snuggly boy. He will let his sister beat him up for awhile, but when she crosses the line, he lets her know. He gets very upset if you scold him for peeing on the floor and wants to come snuggle you immediately to say sorry. Jules on the other hand is full of energy and always wants to play. She is eager to please and bosses her brother around even though he has a major size advantage. Both are very sweet though in completely different ways and most importantly, the kids just adore them. Even Toby my cat (who sometimes thinks he is a dog) is coming around to the puppies and I'm sure in time he will let them know who the real boss is, lol! Yes, the puppies are a huge addition of work on top of our already busy schedules, but I love seeing the smiles on Aidan and Natalie's faces when they are with them and that is definitely something I will always cherish.
So here's to staying in the moment... Enjoying every little bit of my life (the good and not so good) and to making the most of it!
Tuesday 13 November 2012
Thumpy, little elephant
The least strained and most natural ways of the soul are the most beautiful; the best occupations are the least forced. - Michel de Montaigne
November's Happiness Project is to "Pursue a Passion". A few years ago while attending a seminar on pursuing your dreams, the speaker (Tama Kieves) asked us to write down the things that we would do today if social judgements and money were not an issue. For this month's Happiness Project goal, I thought it would be helpful to do this exercise again. So here's mine:
Photograph/Appreciate Nature
Read "fluffy" novels
Go to a concert
Meditate/Run (Same thing for me)
Eat great, healthy food
Design a space
Read architecture magazines
Snuggle with my cat
Watch documentaries on history and conspiracy theories
Watch a TV series with my husband
Go to the beach with my family
Have coffee with a good friend
Blog/Journal
Now, I wouldn't necessarily call these things "passions", but are all things that make me smile. If you have read any of my past posts you will know that my true passion lies in interior design. For whatever reason, it always has been and I don't see myself losing that passion anytime soon. After years of putting it off, I finally went back to school for interior design and words cannot express the happiness that pursuing a passion has brought to me. Seriously. The little things that previously bothered me don't matter as much. I've made some new friends that I can blabber to about the Eames chair I would love to have and they know what I'm talking about, lol! Next term I have registered for 12 credits (that's 5 courses!) and while I am pooping my pants just thinking about it, I know that it is going to be 5x what I'm feeling now. I'm working towards a goal and as the author of The Happiness Project says, "being happier requires you to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth. In other words, to be happier, I need to boost my good feelings, put a stop to my bad feelings, and pursue my right feelings." This is exactly one of the things I love most about interior design; the transformation/creation of something beautiful. It's the growth of a space from ugly to beautiful, or from nothing to amazing.
While the homework will be overwhelming at times, I know that happiness lies in balance... hence the name of this blog "Balancing Act". Making time for my kids, my husband and my friends, as well as running/meditating and eating right are all equally important. Mind, Body and Soul. The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin is full of tidbits of research and I found this to be particularly interesting... "Studies show that people think that they will be slightly happier in the future than they are in the present. And research shows that a sense of purpose is very important to happiness. And why do happiness researchers report that children don’t make people happier, and yet parents insist that their children are a major source of joy?"
I'm often told that people can't believe I'm so honest about my feelings on children/parenting. One of the things I have found most gratifying about being honest is that people have said to me, "I've never met anyone who has admitted they don't play with their kids. I've always felt so guilty that I don't enjoy playing with my own children." I'm not saying that I don't like my kids, but I refuse to feel bad that I don't play Barbies/cars with them. And do you know what has happened to my kids? They are independent, confident little beings that don't need me to hold their hand all the time. They have learned to problem solve on their own and quite often, they are the ones teaching me things (in their own little way). What I enjoy most about watching my children grow up is seeing them grow. Matching my daughter grow from a thumpy, little elephant to a graceful dancer... My son grow from a Bambi-legged skater to a very determined and skilled hockey player. They are pursuing their own passions, and if the day comes they don't want to dance or play hockey, I will enjoy watching them pursue a different passion. Often happiness doesn't lie in your own self; it lies in the happiness of the ones you care the most about.
With Christmas just around the corner, I've been thinking a lot about the things that make other people happy. What are the passions of each of my family members? How can I give meaningful gifts this Christmas and teach my kids what the meaning of Christmas is for our family. For Christians it is the celebration of Jesus' birth; for me it is the celebration of love for friends and family and a time to be together and to be generous to the fellow person. This month, while pursuing my own passions, I hope I will inspire others to pursue their own... with maybe a little gift to go with it. ;)
I'm often told that people can't believe I'm so honest about my feelings on children/parenting. One of the things I have found most gratifying about being honest is that people have said to me, "I've never met anyone who has admitted they don't play with their kids. I've always felt so guilty that I don't enjoy playing with my own children." I'm not saying that I don't like my kids, but I refuse to feel bad that I don't play Barbies/cars with them. And do you know what has happened to my kids? They are independent, confident little beings that don't need me to hold their hand all the time. They have learned to problem solve on their own and quite often, they are the ones teaching me things (in their own little way). What I enjoy most about watching my children grow up is seeing them grow. Matching my daughter grow from a thumpy, little elephant to a graceful dancer... My son grow from a Bambi-legged skater to a very determined and skilled hockey player. They are pursuing their own passions, and if the day comes they don't want to dance or play hockey, I will enjoy watching them pursue a different passion. Often happiness doesn't lie in your own self; it lies in the happiness of the ones you care the most about.
With Christmas just around the corner, I've been thinking a lot about the things that make other people happy. What are the passions of each of my family members? How can I give meaningful gifts this Christmas and teach my kids what the meaning of Christmas is for our family. For Christians it is the celebration of Jesus' birth; for me it is the celebration of love for friends and family and a time to be together and to be generous to the fellow person. This month, while pursuing my own passions, I hope I will inspire others to pursue their own... with maybe a little gift to go with it. ;)
Wednesday 24 October 2012
Her Legacy
As I contemplate the heavens, I have found myself thinking a lot about death. After all, death comes immediately before the heavens... does it not? What will my legacy be? What do I want people to say about me when I'm gone? More importantly, what do I want to teach my children before I leave this planet? Thinking about all of these things can't but help me feel grateful for the life I have been given, or if you prefer...chosen. I live in a place and time in this world where I, as a woman, have the right to choose what religion I want to follow (or not), who I marry if I decide to marry at all, how many children I want to have if any. I also get to choose what kind of person I want to be. A lawyer or doctor were out of the question for women less than 100 years ago, but the sky is the limit now. This post is not meant to be a women's rights rant, merely a way of expressing gratitude for things I often take for granted.
My parents are very different from one another and the lessons they have individually instilled in me have blended to create what drives me. What do my beliefs, lessons and actions say to my children? Are these the things I want them to remember me by?
Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of my husband's Nana's death. This morning I visited her grave for the first time since her burial and as I stood there, I was overcome by sadness. She was an amazing woman, mother, friend and wife, which only makes the pain of her death so much greater for the people she was closest too. Her legacy to her family is one of grace, dignity, respect and love. My husband and I met after my husband's Papa had passed away, but when Nana spoke of her husband, you could feel the love and respect she still had for him. It practically broke my heart every time she spoke of him, which she did often. The one thing that eased my husband's grief when she passed was that it was her belief that she was going to be reunited with him. What a beautiful gift she left for her family and friends.
I can only hope that the memories I leave for my children are as great as the ones she left for hers. The saying, "Live every day like it's your last" has been running through my head. If today was my last day on earth, would I have any regrets? I want my days to be filled with light, and to choose to never have a bad day, to forgive the people that have hurt me, even if I never say the words to them. If I don't have anything nice to say, I want to not say anything at all. I want to smile more, and inspire others to do the same... Or simply: Live. Laugh. Love.
We miss you Nana.
My parents are very different from one another and the lessons they have individually instilled in me have blended to create what drives me. What do my beliefs, lessons and actions say to my children? Are these the things I want them to remember me by?
Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of my husband's Nana's death. This morning I visited her grave for the first time since her burial and as I stood there, I was overcome by sadness. She was an amazing woman, mother, friend and wife, which only makes the pain of her death so much greater for the people she was closest too. Her legacy to her family is one of grace, dignity, respect and love. My husband and I met after my husband's Papa had passed away, but when Nana spoke of her husband, you could feel the love and respect she still had for him. It practically broke my heart every time she spoke of him, which she did often. The one thing that eased my husband's grief when she passed was that it was her belief that she was going to be reunited with him. What a beautiful gift she left for her family and friends.
I can only hope that the memories I leave for my children are as great as the ones she left for hers. The saying, "Live every day like it's your last" has been running through my head. If today was my last day on earth, would I have any regrets? I want my days to be filled with light, and to choose to never have a bad day, to forgive the people that have hurt me, even if I never say the words to them. If I don't have anything nice to say, I want to not say anything at all. I want to smile more, and inspire others to do the same... Or simply: Live. Laugh. Love.
We miss you Nana.
Monday 15 October 2012
Contemplating the Heavens
What is spirituality? Wikipedia defines it as: The concept of an ultimate or an alleged immaterial reality;[1] an inner path enabling a person to discover the essence of his/her being; or the "deepest values and meanings by which people live."[2] Spiritual practices, including meditation, prayer and contemplation, are intended to develop an individual's inner life. Spiritual experiences can include being connected to a larger reality, yielding a more comprehensive self; joining with other individuals or the human community; with nature or the cosmos; or with the divine realm.[3] Spirituality is often experienced as a source of inspiration or orientation in life.[4] It can encompass belief in immaterial realities or experiences of the immanent or transcendent nature of the world.
But what does spirituality mean to me? Even though I am not religious, I consider myself to be a spiritual person... I believe in an energy/higher power that connects us all to each other and nature. Most mainstream religions believe in some variation of this concept. Science has actually proven that our energy extends beyond our physical bodies, whether we are plant or animal. Even atoms of metal and wood have the same energy frequency of human beings. Does practicing meditation or prayer alone make you spiritual? Or does it require intent to connect to a larger reality? By definition, contemplation of spirituality is in itself a spiritual practice. Can "contemplating the heavens" as Gretchen Rubin did in her Happiness Project, evoke spirituality? Gretchen states in her book that "according to the research, yes. Studies show that spiritual people are relatively happier; they're more mentally and physically healthy, deal better with stress, have better marriages and live longer."
Spirituality and spiritual practices have always been interesting to me whether or not I agree or disagree with them. So when my friend began telling me about this incredible book series that changed her thoughts on spirituality, I couldn't wait to get my hands on it. Two years later, when she finally lent me the first book, Anastasia in The Ringing Cedar Series, by Vladimir Megre, it just happened to be the month in my happiness project to "contemplate the heavens". (The universe is always working to help me just when I need it)! 17 years ago, while traveling up the Ob River, Megre came to meet a woman named Anastasia living in the Siberian. He describes in detail how he was astounded by her knowledge, power and wisdom. I won't go into details, but I will say this... The book is full of myth-shattering messages that make you wonder, "Can this be true"? Whether or not I believe the words written in the book, one of the underlying messages that stuck with me was to be grateful. One of my commandments in my happiness project is just that... be grateful. I truly believe if you can find something to be grateful for in every situation, it's hard to be negative and unhappy.
Last weekend was Thanksgiving. I love this holiday not only for the turkey and time with family, but because it is a day to truly reflect on all things we are grateful for. This year I am thankful I found inspiration to go back to school; a dream I had been pushing off for years... For my children who are smart, kind and most importantly, healthy... For my husband who supports my dreams and keeps me on my toes... For my family who love me unconditionally and catch me when I fall... The fact that I have a list of friends that are amazing, make me laugh and keep me sane, to name a few.
This month, every morning when I wake up, I will think of all the things I am grateful for that day. Gretchen also used "wasted" time to practice "gratitude meditation". For example, waiting for a train to pass, waiting for a red light, etc. What an awesome idea. I have noticed a huge change in my attitude this year already by focusing on my happiness and gratitude. I'm not perfect by any means and I still have my moments, but I don't dwell on them like I used to. Gretchen also says, "Other people cultivate unhappiness as a way to control others. They cling to unhappiness because without it they'd forgo the special consideration that unhappiness secures: the claim to pity and attention". Life is too short to be one of those people. "In our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes us happy". -Albert Clarke
But what does spirituality mean to me? Even though I am not religious, I consider myself to be a spiritual person... I believe in an energy/higher power that connects us all to each other and nature. Most mainstream religions believe in some variation of this concept. Science has actually proven that our energy extends beyond our physical bodies, whether we are plant or animal. Even atoms of metal and wood have the same energy frequency of human beings. Does practicing meditation or prayer alone make you spiritual? Or does it require intent to connect to a larger reality? By definition, contemplation of spirituality is in itself a spiritual practice. Can "contemplating the heavens" as Gretchen Rubin did in her Happiness Project, evoke spirituality? Gretchen states in her book that "according to the research, yes. Studies show that spiritual people are relatively happier; they're more mentally and physically healthy, deal better with stress, have better marriages and live longer."
Spirituality and spiritual practices have always been interesting to me whether or not I agree or disagree with them. So when my friend began telling me about this incredible book series that changed her thoughts on spirituality, I couldn't wait to get my hands on it. Two years later, when she finally lent me the first book, Anastasia in The Ringing Cedar Series, by Vladimir Megre, it just happened to be the month in my happiness project to "contemplate the heavens". (The universe is always working to help me just when I need it)! 17 years ago, while traveling up the Ob River, Megre came to meet a woman named Anastasia living in the Siberian. He describes in detail how he was astounded by her knowledge, power and wisdom. I won't go into details, but I will say this... The book is full of myth-shattering messages that make you wonder, "Can this be true"? Whether or not I believe the words written in the book, one of the underlying messages that stuck with me was to be grateful. One of my commandments in my happiness project is just that... be grateful. I truly believe if you can find something to be grateful for in every situation, it's hard to be negative and unhappy.
Last weekend was Thanksgiving. I love this holiday not only for the turkey and time with family, but because it is a day to truly reflect on all things we are grateful for. This year I am thankful I found inspiration to go back to school; a dream I had been pushing off for years... For my children who are smart, kind and most importantly, healthy... For my husband who supports my dreams and keeps me on my toes... For my family who love me unconditionally and catch me when I fall... The fact that I have a list of friends that are amazing, make me laugh and keep me sane, to name a few.
This month, every morning when I wake up, I will think of all the things I am grateful for that day. Gretchen also used "wasted" time to practice "gratitude meditation". For example, waiting for a train to pass, waiting for a red light, etc. What an awesome idea. I have noticed a huge change in my attitude this year already by focusing on my happiness and gratitude. I'm not perfect by any means and I still have my moments, but I don't dwell on them like I used to. Gretchen also says, "Other people cultivate unhappiness as a way to control others. They cling to unhappiness because without it they'd forgo the special consideration that unhappiness secures: the claim to pity and attention". Life is too short to be one of those people. "In our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes us happy". -Albert Clarke
Tuesday 25 September 2012
You will be just fine.
Is fulfillment the same as happiness? Can you "find" happiness if you make it a goal? Or is happiness a benefit of pursuing you dreams?
I've spent the past 6 months pursuing happiness... by implementing ideas from the Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I have had my ups and downs, and have found ways to inject happiness into my life that I may not have thought of on my own. But nothing so far on this journey has brought me as much joy/happiness/fulfillment as pursuing a dream. In the words of Cinderella, "A dream is a wish your heart makes". Has a wish ever come true and it feels like your heart may burst with happiness?
Anyone who has ever had a conversation with me probably knows that I am OBSESSED with interior design. I have been watching interior design shows on TV since before it was acceptable for a person of my age to be doing so. And if you have read any of my past posts, you will have read how my spare time is consumed with attempting to catch up on all the design shows on my PVR, ripping out inspiring pictures from my hugely increasing magazine collection for my binder (yes that's right... I have a binder). And maybe stalking a few of my favourite interior designers... It's funny how one thing could take over my daily thoughts, and even keep me up at nights occasionally, and it never occurred to me that maybe I should do this for a living. But through the years, encouragement from friends and family, and one amazing workshop finally made me take the leap.
Two weeks ago I began a new chapter in my life. My alarm went off at 6am on (what would turn out to be) a beautiful, sunny Saturday morning. As I quietly tiptoed through the house getting ready for my first day of class, I had a feeling that this was extremely anticlimactic. I'm not sure what I was expecting... balloons and a cheerleading squad somehow felt very appropriate. Even my cat who normally greets me in the morning gave me a look that said, "What the hell are you doing up so early?" I grabbed my laptop and brand new, fully stocked lunch kit (that my rad friend brought over the night before) and headed for the door. My six year old son had just crept out of bed to wish me good luck on my first day. He asked, "Are you nervous, Mom?" and I replied, "Oh bud, I am SOOO nervous". He looked at me for a second and then said, "Don't worry, you will be just fine". My son is a little old man trapped in his body, and he never ceases to amaze me. He was right. I would be just fine. I gave him a huge hug, wiped the tears from my eyes, and drove off to school.
Words cannot express what it has meant to me to be able to pursue a huge dream of mine. So far, the two classes I have attended have brought me so much more joy than I could have ever imagined. To be surrounded by people that are as passionate about design as I am is incredible. For the first time in my life, homework is fun! I completely understand what it means to do what you love, love what you do.
I get really emotional when I think about how lucky I am. Blessed feels like the right word. My life is far from perfect, but I have an amazing support group in my life that makes me feel like my life is perfect in it's imperfection. I may not have had my cheerleading squad to physically send me off... but I felt every single one of your there right with me. To every person that has told me they are happy for me, or they believe in me, or even liked my status updates on Facebook about going back to school... it means everything to me! xoxo
I've spent the past 6 months pursuing happiness... by implementing ideas from the Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I have had my ups and downs, and have found ways to inject happiness into my life that I may not have thought of on my own. But nothing so far on this journey has brought me as much joy/happiness/fulfillment as pursuing a dream. In the words of Cinderella, "A dream is a wish your heart makes". Has a wish ever come true and it feels like your heart may burst with happiness?
Anyone who has ever had a conversation with me probably knows that I am OBSESSED with interior design. I have been watching interior design shows on TV since before it was acceptable for a person of my age to be doing so. And if you have read any of my past posts, you will have read how my spare time is consumed with attempting to catch up on all the design shows on my PVR, ripping out inspiring pictures from my hugely increasing magazine collection for my binder (yes that's right... I have a binder). And maybe stalking a few of my favourite interior designers... It's funny how one thing could take over my daily thoughts, and even keep me up at nights occasionally, and it never occurred to me that maybe I should do this for a living. But through the years, encouragement from friends and family, and one amazing workshop finally made me take the leap.
Two weeks ago I began a new chapter in my life. My alarm went off at 6am on (what would turn out to be) a beautiful, sunny Saturday morning. As I quietly tiptoed through the house getting ready for my first day of class, I had a feeling that this was extremely anticlimactic. I'm not sure what I was expecting... balloons and a cheerleading squad somehow felt very appropriate. Even my cat who normally greets me in the morning gave me a look that said, "What the hell are you doing up so early?" I grabbed my laptop and brand new, fully stocked lunch kit (that my rad friend brought over the night before) and headed for the door. My six year old son had just crept out of bed to wish me good luck on my first day. He asked, "Are you nervous, Mom?" and I replied, "Oh bud, I am SOOO nervous". He looked at me for a second and then said, "Don't worry, you will be just fine". My son is a little old man trapped in his body, and he never ceases to amaze me. He was right. I would be just fine. I gave him a huge hug, wiped the tears from my eyes, and drove off to school.
Words cannot express what it has meant to me to be able to pursue a huge dream of mine. So far, the two classes I have attended have brought me so much more joy than I could have ever imagined. To be surrounded by people that are as passionate about design as I am is incredible. For the first time in my life, homework is fun! I completely understand what it means to do what you love, love what you do.
I get really emotional when I think about how lucky I am. Blessed feels like the right word. My life is far from perfect, but I have an amazing support group in my life that makes me feel like my life is perfect in it's imperfection. I may not have had my cheerleading squad to physically send me off... but I felt every single one of your there right with me. To every person that has told me they are happy for me, or they believe in me, or even liked my status updates on Facebook about going back to school... it means everything to me! xoxo
Tuesday 28 August 2012
Verbal Assault
The summer is rapidly coming to an end. I wait every year for the (hopefully) 2 months of sun. This summer was the first time we have had the kids home full time in 3 years. Is it bad that I can't wait for school to start again?!? My kids are awesome (most of the time) but they need a break from each other, and us too. The school supplies are bought, new clothes washed and ready to wear. I've even bought my new back to school supplies!
This past month's focus in my Happiness Project was to buy some happiness. Buy needful things. Indulge in a modest splurge. Spend out on the things you have been holding off on. Gretchen Rubin, the author of The Happiness Project said she would use razors until they were extremely dull, toothbrushes till they were yellowed and frayed, save fancy stationary for something special. I love that she writes, "As part of my happiness project I wanted to stop hoarding, to trust in abundance, so that I could use things up, give things away, throw things out. Not only that- I wanted to stop worrying so much about keeping score and profit and loss. I wanted to spend out." For me, the phrase, to trust in abundance, really struck a chord with me.
If you have ever had to watch your pennies, it's hard to let go of the memory. My grandparents were raised by poor immigrant parents. They learned at a very early age to make a dollar stretch and in turn, those lessons were passed to my mom. My mom has worked hard and saved her whole life, which is a good thing, but when I was little, she rarely spent money on herself. About 10 years ago, my mom had asked me to help her organize her garage. She is really bad at letting items go, "Just in case she might need it one day". We were just getting on a roll, tossing the broken containers, getting rid of the stuff she just could not justify keeping, when I went to toss the lid to a large, shallow container we had just put tall bottles of cleaning supplies in. The lid could not possibly fit onto the container anymore. We bickered back and forth about the fate of the container's lid and eventually I was verbally assaulted about how I just throw money away. You have to picture my mother. She is a tiny woman, very gentle, rarely swears and never has a bad thing to say about anyone (unless they really deserve it!). She was so stressed out about the thought of throwing something away that wasn't broken horrified her and she would do anything to make it not happen. What I was trying to do back then, in a way, was to help my mom spend out. If she really needed another container exactly that shape one day, she could go get another one.
I have been holding off on some major "to-dos" for awhile, waiting till it was absolutely necessary. So this month, with my goals in mind, I purchased a laptop that I desperately needed for my back to school. My septic tank is getting pumped this morning. I replaced my broken cordless phone (with a cheap model, but hey! It works). Some of the things have been on the "Tackle the Nagging Task List" for years and boy does it feel good to cross them off!
I was just rereading last month's post and realized I had written about two resolutions for the month. Whoops! A bit of a mix up. I had originally started off with "Make time for friends" for August's agenda, but there were some things I desperately needed to spend out on sooner rather than later. So I switched them up but obviously didn't proofread my post before I published it (and probably confused most of you). So having said that, next month's goal will be to "Make time for friends": Remember birthdays. Be Generous. Show up. Don't gossip. Make three new friends. School for me starts in just 17 days and I'm excited about the idea of welcoming new friends into my life, as well as the challenge of making time for my pals when life if sure to become a crazy zoo. In a good way of course. ;) I am fortunate I have so many wonderful friends in my life and whether I see them often, or even just twice a year, I'm making a point to let each and everyone of them know how much they mean to me. Just knowing I have so many wonderful people to turn to if I need some help, or to share in my joys and achievements means everything to me. Xoxo.
This past month's focus in my Happiness Project was to buy some happiness. Buy needful things. Indulge in a modest splurge. Spend out on the things you have been holding off on. Gretchen Rubin, the author of The Happiness Project said she would use razors until they were extremely dull, toothbrushes till they were yellowed and frayed, save fancy stationary for something special. I love that she writes, "As part of my happiness project I wanted to stop hoarding, to trust in abundance, so that I could use things up, give things away, throw things out. Not only that- I wanted to stop worrying so much about keeping score and profit and loss. I wanted to spend out." For me, the phrase, to trust in abundance, really struck a chord with me.
If you have ever had to watch your pennies, it's hard to let go of the memory. My grandparents were raised by poor immigrant parents. They learned at a very early age to make a dollar stretch and in turn, those lessons were passed to my mom. My mom has worked hard and saved her whole life, which is a good thing, but when I was little, she rarely spent money on herself. About 10 years ago, my mom had asked me to help her organize her garage. She is really bad at letting items go, "Just in case she might need it one day". We were just getting on a roll, tossing the broken containers, getting rid of the stuff she just could not justify keeping, when I went to toss the lid to a large, shallow container we had just put tall bottles of cleaning supplies in. The lid could not possibly fit onto the container anymore. We bickered back and forth about the fate of the container's lid and eventually I was verbally assaulted about how I just throw money away. You have to picture my mother. She is a tiny woman, very gentle, rarely swears and never has a bad thing to say about anyone (unless they really deserve it!). She was so stressed out about the thought of throwing something away that wasn't broken horrified her and she would do anything to make it not happen. What I was trying to do back then, in a way, was to help my mom spend out. If she really needed another container exactly that shape one day, she could go get another one.
I have been holding off on some major "to-dos" for awhile, waiting till it was absolutely necessary. So this month, with my goals in mind, I purchased a laptop that I desperately needed for my back to school. My septic tank is getting pumped this morning. I replaced my broken cordless phone (with a cheap model, but hey! It works). Some of the things have been on the "Tackle the Nagging Task List" for years and boy does it feel good to cross them off!
I was just rereading last month's post and realized I had written about two resolutions for the month. Whoops! A bit of a mix up. I had originally started off with "Make time for friends" for August's agenda, but there were some things I desperately needed to spend out on sooner rather than later. So I switched them up but obviously didn't proofread my post before I published it (and probably confused most of you). So having said that, next month's goal will be to "Make time for friends": Remember birthdays. Be Generous. Show up. Don't gossip. Make three new friends. School for me starts in just 17 days and I'm excited about the idea of welcoming new friends into my life, as well as the challenge of making time for my pals when life if sure to become a crazy zoo. In a good way of course. ;) I am fortunate I have so many wonderful friends in my life and whether I see them often, or even just twice a year, I'm making a point to let each and everyone of them know how much they mean to me. Just knowing I have so many wonderful people to turn to if I need some help, or to share in my joys and achievements means everything to me. Xoxo.
Tuesday 14 August 2012
Buy Some Happiness!
I'm half way through my happiness project... It's unbelievable actually. I am constantly amazed at how fast time is moving and I have a feeling life is about figuring out how to move faster (or you get left behind). This month's resolutions in my project are about making time for friends, which is actually a hard task to do in the last few weeks of summer. Everyone seems to be cramming in last minute holidays or trips to the beach with their kids and I am no exception. And because this is the halfway mark, I feel the need to reflect on my entire happiness project as a whole.
Every month, as I begin the next part of the happiness project, I reread the chapter of Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project. Throughout the book, she talks about the importance of her "Resolutions Chart" and how it kept her accountable to her resolutions. I originally had a chart made up of my resolutions but never followed through. I can totally see why they are so important though, and this month I am going to make a chart so I don't lose sight of my goals. Like my vision board, the chart is a way to keep myself on track. When I think back over all I have achieved in the last 6 months, I'm really proud of myself. Some things have been easier to achieve than other, some goals have pushed me harder than I thought I would (or could) go. I've had some amazing surprises along the way, but all in all, it has helped me get a clearer picture of what is important to me and even more importantly, the things that I thought were important and actually are not. One of the other things that was unexpected, was the "God winks" (as one client referred to them) that have happened along the way. You know... the little things that let you know you are on the right path, or to give you a little boost when you need it most. Most recently, I had applied for a grant for going back to school, thinking that even a little bit to help with textbooks would be great. I received a letter a few days ago and my course is paid for, plus a bit extra that will pay for my textbook and a bit towards my new laptop I bought for back to school. It is an amazing feeling when you know you are on the right path.
So... This month's resolutions are to "Buy Some Happiness: Money". Indulge in a modest splurge. Buy needful things. Spend out. Give something up. Sounds easy! Ha! I've said that before. ;)
Every month, as I begin the next part of the happiness project, I reread the chapter of Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project. Throughout the book, she talks about the importance of her "Resolutions Chart" and how it kept her accountable to her resolutions. I originally had a chart made up of my resolutions but never followed through. I can totally see why they are so important though, and this month I am going to make a chart so I don't lose sight of my goals. Like my vision board, the chart is a way to keep myself on track. When I think back over all I have achieved in the last 6 months, I'm really proud of myself. Some things have been easier to achieve than other, some goals have pushed me harder than I thought I would (or could) go. I've had some amazing surprises along the way, but all in all, it has helped me get a clearer picture of what is important to me and even more importantly, the things that I thought were important and actually are not. One of the other things that was unexpected, was the "God winks" (as one client referred to them) that have happened along the way. You know... the little things that let you know you are on the right path, or to give you a little boost when you need it most. Most recently, I had applied for a grant for going back to school, thinking that even a little bit to help with textbooks would be great. I received a letter a few days ago and my course is paid for, plus a bit extra that will pay for my textbook and a bit towards my new laptop I bought for back to school. It is an amazing feeling when you know you are on the right path.
So... This month's resolutions are to "Buy Some Happiness: Money". Indulge in a modest splurge. Buy needful things. Spend out. Give something up. Sounds easy! Ha! I've said that before. ;)
Sunday 8 July 2012
Collecting is not hoarding!
It's a week into July and I figured I better get blogging. As they say... Better late than never!
As a part of my happiness project, July is a month to "Be Serious About Play". In Gretchen Rubin's book, The Happiness Project, she writes, "In an irony that didn't escape me, I prepared to work doggedly at fun and be serious about joking around". And so this month, as I prepared to do the same, I was forced to really look at my life and explore what I deem to be fun.
Monthly Resolutions:
Find More Fun. Two years ago during a workshop I unknowingly began a dramatic change in my life. We were asked to write a list of ten things that, if social judgements and money were not an issue, we would do today for fun. I had over 50. Photography, painting, organising... So why wasn't I doing any of these things? Well... money is an issue for most people with small kids, and I was no exception. But nonetheless, a seed was planted. Even though I wasn't able to take action on a lot of things on the list, it was the realization that most of the items on my "fun" list could be combined in interior design. And so the dream of pursuing a career in that field seemed less silly. I always used to say, "I'll do that in my next life". A good friend one day said, "Why not this life?" I still can't believe I'm actually going back to school to do just that in two months.
Take Time to be Silly. Particularly... allow my children to be silly and join in their silliness. As I was writing my last sentence, I looked at my kids building a fort on our deck. I grabbed two big blankets and helped them drape the blankets over some chairs to make a sun shelter. They were thrilled and it took me one minute. It sounds like a pretty basic thing to play with your kids, but mine are amazing at entertaining themselves so I don't usually think to join in. I've always felt it's important for kids to use their imagination and to have independence, but they love it when I make a point to play.
Start A Collection. Gretchen writes, "A collection provides a mission, a reason to visit new places, the excitement of the chase, a field of expertise (no matter how trivial), and, often, a bond with other people. It sounded like so much fun". Growing up, my mom was a pack rat extraordinaire. As an adult, I feared having too much stuff around, so the idea of a collection was frightening. I have realized I will never be the person who collects ladybugs, or chickens in the kitchen, etc. But it is possible to collect without collecting clutter. The last time I collected anything, I was 10 and I collected pictures of Jonathan Taylor Thomas, lol! Time to find a new interest, seriously. Last month, for my birthday, my sister-in-law and fellow design enthusiast, bought me a beautiful coffee table book on interior design and said it could be the beginning of a collection. Done! Now I just need a proper coffee table to display them on!
Go off the Path. Try a new restaurant, a new wine. Read a book that wouldn't normally be one I would choose. Whatever it may be, this month I will "Do different". And who knows? Maybe I will find a new source of fun in an unexpected place.
As a part of my happiness project, July is a month to "Be Serious About Play". In Gretchen Rubin's book, The Happiness Project, she writes, "In an irony that didn't escape me, I prepared to work doggedly at fun and be serious about joking around". And so this month, as I prepared to do the same, I was forced to really look at my life and explore what I deem to be fun.
Monthly Resolutions:
Find More Fun. Two years ago during a workshop I unknowingly began a dramatic change in my life. We were asked to write a list of ten things that, if social judgements and money were not an issue, we would do today for fun. I had over 50. Photography, painting, organising... So why wasn't I doing any of these things? Well... money is an issue for most people with small kids, and I was no exception. But nonetheless, a seed was planted. Even though I wasn't able to take action on a lot of things on the list, it was the realization that most of the items on my "fun" list could be combined in interior design. And so the dream of pursuing a career in that field seemed less silly. I always used to say, "I'll do that in my next life". A good friend one day said, "Why not this life?" I still can't believe I'm actually going back to school to do just that in two months.
Take Time to be Silly. Particularly... allow my children to be silly and join in their silliness. As I was writing my last sentence, I looked at my kids building a fort on our deck. I grabbed two big blankets and helped them drape the blankets over some chairs to make a sun shelter. They were thrilled and it took me one minute. It sounds like a pretty basic thing to play with your kids, but mine are amazing at entertaining themselves so I don't usually think to join in. I've always felt it's important for kids to use their imagination and to have independence, but they love it when I make a point to play.
Start A Collection. Gretchen writes, "A collection provides a mission, a reason to visit new places, the excitement of the chase, a field of expertise (no matter how trivial), and, often, a bond with other people. It sounded like so much fun". Growing up, my mom was a pack rat extraordinaire. As an adult, I feared having too much stuff around, so the idea of a collection was frightening. I have realized I will never be the person who collects ladybugs, or chickens in the kitchen, etc. But it is possible to collect without collecting clutter. The last time I collected anything, I was 10 and I collected pictures of Jonathan Taylor Thomas, lol! Time to find a new interest, seriously. Last month, for my birthday, my sister-in-law and fellow design enthusiast, bought me a beautiful coffee table book on interior design and said it could be the beginning of a collection. Done! Now I just need a proper coffee table to display them on!
Go off the Path. Try a new restaurant, a new wine. Read a book that wouldn't normally be one I would choose. Whatever it may be, this month I will "Do different". And who knows? Maybe I will find a new source of fun in an unexpected place.
Saturday 23 June 2012
Summer Camp anyone?
It seems that the summer has decided to hibernate this year. As the rainy days add up, my children are progressively getting crabbier. I know they won't melt in the rain, but I'm not interested in standing out there with them. So... June has been a long month to say the least. School is rapidly coming to an end and I worry that having both kids full time at home this summer may prove to be a challenge at best. Did I hear someone say Summer camp? Lol!
Considering the obstacles I've faced this month, I think I've done reasonably well for my monthly goals of "lightening up". It wasn't until yesterday (after four consecutive days of my children seriously testing my patience) that I finally lost it and the kids were sent to their rooms with a severe reprimanding. Now the only thing I've lost is my voice. Damn. As the month is quickly coming to an end (I feel like I'm saying this every blog entry now) I keep thinking, "How can I make more time for play in my life"?
Next month in my Happiness Project is: Be Serious About Play. I just hope the sun cooperates for the month. We are kicking the first weekend off with what is becoming our annual family camping trip and I'm really looking forward to it. But whatever Mother Nature may bring, I'm determined to make the best of it!
Considering the obstacles I've faced this month, I think I've done reasonably well for my monthly goals of "lightening up". It wasn't until yesterday (after four consecutive days of my children seriously testing my patience) that I finally lost it and the kids were sent to their rooms with a severe reprimanding. Now the only thing I've lost is my voice. Damn. As the month is quickly coming to an end (I feel like I'm saying this every blog entry now) I keep thinking, "How can I make more time for play in my life"?
Next month in my Happiness Project is: Be Serious About Play. I just hope the sun cooperates for the month. We are kicking the first weekend off with what is becoming our annual family camping trip and I'm really looking forward to it. But whatever Mother Nature may bring, I'm determined to make the best of it!
Saturday 2 June 2012
Life needs a bit more "Silly"
I just had the most amazing thing happen... I woke up at 9am, when my body felt it was time to get up (and not to the noise of an alarm or to the sound of my children physically abusing each other)! It can only mean one thing... Weekend Getaway!!! That's right... My husband surprised me last night and whisked me off for my early birthday present, and I am serious when I say: sleeping in is the best present a parent of young children could ever receive.
It is the fourth month in my Happiness Project and June's focus is Lighten up: Parenthood. And I couldn't think of a better time to reflect on the way I interact with my kids than when I have a few days away from them, lol!
-Acknowledge the reality of people's feelings.
I took this one right out of The Happiness Project. I have only read one parenting book in my life and it was at a time when I was willing to do ANYTHING to get my then 11 month old son to sleep through the night. He was waking up 4 to 5 times per night, every night, and I was on the verge of crazy. Who am I kidding... I was full on crazy. It's not that I don't think reading books on parenting aren't a really great idea... I really have tried to read a couple others but I just can't seem to get through them. So when Gretchen Rubin talks about this specific parenting strategy that she read (in her opinion, the greatest parenting book ever), I thought, "I could do that"! She sums it up by saying don't deny feelings such as anger, irritation, fear or reluctance; instead, articulate the feeling and the other person's point of view. It really does sound easy, but she goes on to say how it really is a hard habit to break. I think of all the times I do the exact opposite. Like when my daughter whines that she is too tired to walk anymore, her legs hurt (and we have been walking for only a few short minutes) we say, "You are NOT too tired, you silly monkey. Come on, let's keep going". Instead, (and I will admit it sounds like psychiatrist talk) we should say, "You want to stop walking. Your legs hurt and you are tired". She also gives a few simple strategies to show her children that she acknowledges their feelings.
Write it down. "I'm going to write that down. Aidan doesn't like wearing these pants!" And I'm going to have to do it without a sarcastic tone in my voice. Dylan: This means you too!!!
Don't feel as if I need to say anything. Sometimes a cuddle will cure the problem without saying a word.
Wave a magic wand. "If I had a magic wand I would make it stop raining so you wouldn't have to wear a coat to school."
Admit that a task is difficult. Gretchen writes. "Studies show that people tend to persevere longer with problems they've been told are difficult as opposed to easy. I'd been doing the exact opposite with Eleanor (her 7 year old daughter). Thinking I was being encouraging, I'd say 'It's not tough to pull off your socks, just give it a try.' I switched to saying things such as 'Socks can be tough to get off. Sometimes it helps to push down the back part over your ankle, instead of pulling off the toe."
The last one is going to be particularly effective with Aidan, my 6 year old son, who is an absolute perfectionist (I have no idea where he gets that from, lol!). All he wants in life is to be treated like a grown up, which is kind of sad. We have been saying his entire life that he is a little old man trapped in a kid's body. He doesn't want to think that he can't do something especially if it's supposed to be an easy task. But if i tell him it's hard, he won't feel silly if he struggles to complete a task.
-Be a treasure house of happy memories.
Our family is young, but my husband have both realized the importance of traditions. We have carried on some traditions from our own childhood, and have also created new traditions. For example, when Aidan was a baby, I took him to Hallmark before Christmas so he could pick out an ornament. Ok... he was 10 months old, I held him up to the one I wanted him to pick... but every year, I take my kids to Hallmark so they can pick out their ornament. And when we get our tree, They hang them in order from their first Christmas to the most recent. I think I look forward to it more than they do. When I was young, every pay day, my mom would take my sister and I out for Chinese food and then we would go bowling. I forgot how much I loved doing that, so we are going to start family date night with our kids and hopefully, when they are grown, they will have those special memories like I did.
I'm going to leave it at that. Two "simple" resolutions for this month. I've been given some new strategies to deal with the temper tantrums. And going back to one of my original "Commandments" I set for myself at the beginning of my happiness project, Let it go. After all, it won't be long before they are all grown up. Life needs a bit more "silly".
PS. The parenting books that Gretchen refers to are Siblings without Rivalry and How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. :)
It is the fourth month in my Happiness Project and June's focus is Lighten up: Parenthood. And I couldn't think of a better time to reflect on the way I interact with my kids than when I have a few days away from them, lol!
-Acknowledge the reality of people's feelings.
I took this one right out of The Happiness Project. I have only read one parenting book in my life and it was at a time when I was willing to do ANYTHING to get my then 11 month old son to sleep through the night. He was waking up 4 to 5 times per night, every night, and I was on the verge of crazy. Who am I kidding... I was full on crazy. It's not that I don't think reading books on parenting aren't a really great idea... I really have tried to read a couple others but I just can't seem to get through them. So when Gretchen Rubin talks about this specific parenting strategy that she read (in her opinion, the greatest parenting book ever), I thought, "I could do that"! She sums it up by saying don't deny feelings such as anger, irritation, fear or reluctance; instead, articulate the feeling and the other person's point of view. It really does sound easy, but she goes on to say how it really is a hard habit to break. I think of all the times I do the exact opposite. Like when my daughter whines that she is too tired to walk anymore, her legs hurt (and we have been walking for only a few short minutes) we say, "You are NOT too tired, you silly monkey. Come on, let's keep going". Instead, (and I will admit it sounds like psychiatrist talk) we should say, "You want to stop walking. Your legs hurt and you are tired". She also gives a few simple strategies to show her children that she acknowledges their feelings.
Write it down. "I'm going to write that down. Aidan doesn't like wearing these pants!" And I'm going to have to do it without a sarcastic tone in my voice. Dylan: This means you too!!!
Don't feel as if I need to say anything. Sometimes a cuddle will cure the problem without saying a word.
Wave a magic wand. "If I had a magic wand I would make it stop raining so you wouldn't have to wear a coat to school."
Admit that a task is difficult. Gretchen writes. "Studies show that people tend to persevere longer with problems they've been told are difficult as opposed to easy. I'd been doing the exact opposite with Eleanor (her 7 year old daughter). Thinking I was being encouraging, I'd say 'It's not tough to pull off your socks, just give it a try.' I switched to saying things such as 'Socks can be tough to get off. Sometimes it helps to push down the back part over your ankle, instead of pulling off the toe."
The last one is going to be particularly effective with Aidan, my 6 year old son, who is an absolute perfectionist (I have no idea where he gets that from, lol!). All he wants in life is to be treated like a grown up, which is kind of sad. We have been saying his entire life that he is a little old man trapped in a kid's body. He doesn't want to think that he can't do something especially if it's supposed to be an easy task. But if i tell him it's hard, he won't feel silly if he struggles to complete a task.
-Be a treasure house of happy memories.
Our family is young, but my husband have both realized the importance of traditions. We have carried on some traditions from our own childhood, and have also created new traditions. For example, when Aidan was a baby, I took him to Hallmark before Christmas so he could pick out an ornament. Ok... he was 10 months old, I held him up to the one I wanted him to pick... but every year, I take my kids to Hallmark so they can pick out their ornament. And when we get our tree, They hang them in order from their first Christmas to the most recent. I think I look forward to it more than they do. When I was young, every pay day, my mom would take my sister and I out for Chinese food and then we would go bowling. I forgot how much I loved doing that, so we are going to start family date night with our kids and hopefully, when they are grown, they will have those special memories like I did.
I'm going to leave it at that. Two "simple" resolutions for this month. I've been given some new strategies to deal with the temper tantrums. And going back to one of my original "Commandments" I set for myself at the beginning of my happiness project, Let it go. After all, it won't be long before they are all grown up. Life needs a bit more "silly".
PS. The parenting books that Gretchen refers to are Siblings without Rivalry and How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. :)
Thursday 24 May 2012
Bring it on!
In two weeks time I will be celebrating my 29th birthday. Birthdays have always been a big deal for me. It's not only the attention loving Gemini in me that loves a day when I am celebrated (lol!) but it signifies a brand new year, full of new goals. A sort of personal New Years. I can't help but feel that this year is one of great importance. So often the 30th birthday is regarded as the next big milestone, but the 29th is the completion of our 29th year and the beginning of the 30th year of our lives.
I had a thought this morning as I was going for my run. (It seems running has really become my time for meditation). A life has a lot of similarities to a pregnancy. If you look at a life spanning 90 years, it can be divided into 3 sections (or trimesters), each 30 years. The first 30 years of most people's lives are spent jumping hurdles, learning to talk, walk, going to school, figuring out what we want to do for a living, finding our life partner, having kids, etc. The same goes for a pregnancy... The morning sickness, figuring out what foods you can and cannot bear to eat, studying the right side to sleep on, how much caffeine you can safely consume, lol!
As I'm heading out of the first trimester of life, I feel as if all of the things I have learned, and worked hard to achieve can finally be enjoyed. I have a greater sense of who I am than I ever have before. I know what makes me tick, I have an amazing family and group of friends, and I am grateful that I am surrounded by so many amazingly supportive people in my life. I am finally going back to school this fall!!! It is actually happening! There are so many things to be grateful for in my life.
Creating my vision board was the start. I have found so much inspiration that has come in the form of new people in my life, great advice from friends and stumbling across quotes that have given me the drive to say, "What are you waiting for?". It's no coincidence that I've been saying for years that I can't wait for my 30's. Deep down I've always known that this year is going to be the start of so many wonderful things!
As I head into my "2nd trimester", I am feeling renewed, charged up, ready for the new joys life will bring me. Like in a pregnancy, when you finally feel your baby's kicks for the first time, I feel I have so much to look forward to... with my friends and family with my every step of the way. :)
I had a thought this morning as I was going for my run. (It seems running has really become my time for meditation). A life has a lot of similarities to a pregnancy. If you look at a life spanning 90 years, it can be divided into 3 sections (or trimesters), each 30 years. The first 30 years of most people's lives are spent jumping hurdles, learning to talk, walk, going to school, figuring out what we want to do for a living, finding our life partner, having kids, etc. The same goes for a pregnancy... The morning sickness, figuring out what foods you can and cannot bear to eat, studying the right side to sleep on, how much caffeine you can safely consume, lol!
As I'm heading out of the first trimester of life, I feel as if all of the things I have learned, and worked hard to achieve can finally be enjoyed. I have a greater sense of who I am than I ever have before. I know what makes me tick, I have an amazing family and group of friends, and I am grateful that I am surrounded by so many amazingly supportive people in my life. I am finally going back to school this fall!!! It is actually happening! There are so many things to be grateful for in my life.
Creating my vision board was the start. I have found so much inspiration that has come in the form of new people in my life, great advice from friends and stumbling across quotes that have given me the drive to say, "What are you waiting for?". It's no coincidence that I've been saying for years that I can't wait for my 30's. Deep down I've always known that this year is going to be the start of so many wonderful things!
As I head into my "2nd trimester", I am feeling renewed, charged up, ready for the new joys life will bring me. Like in a pregnancy, when you finally feel your baby's kicks for the first time, I feel I have so much to look forward to... with my friends and family with my every step of the way. :)
Friday 4 May 2012
Call it what you want!
A child calls it a wish, Christians: prayer, Buddhists: meditation. I love when I put a thought out to the universe, however small, and it comes back to me. For example, the dress club I belong to. A few months ago I thought to myself, it would be great to have a reason to get together with my friends once a month. Two days later, without mentioning it, a client told me about the Dress Club she used to belong. I'm not sure why I'm always surprised when this happens because I truly believe in the power of thought. Or when you think about a friend and the phone rings and it's them calling. Maybe it's a coincidence... but maybe its not.
May's focus for my happiness project is Aim Higher:Work. When I was reading this chapter months ago in The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, I remember thinking I didn't particularly want to increase my business. I know that sounds terrible, but I just couldn't think of a way to expand my business in anyway that appealed to me. I didn't want to invest a large amount of money on equipment to offer more services (like spray tanning). I didn't want to take any additional training for esthetics when my passion is elsewhere. That doesn't mean I don't love what I do, but I also don't want to work more hours either when I finally feel after nine years I have a good balance between work, play and family. I just didn't know how it would happen.
If you have been reading my blog from the get-go, you will have read a bit on being mindful. I've been really paying attention to what I'm putting into my body, and reading a ridiculous amount on so many different topics like PH balancing, vitamin absorption, removing toxins in our bodies, etc. Often, when I'm researching products, I read WAY too much and become overwhelmed and then do nothing because I'm am so confused. Typical Gemini. Which is exactly what happened to me this past month. After spending hours reading about PH in our bodies, it left no doubt in my mind that cancer runs rampant in people that are highly acidic. One article I read said, at a PH slightly above 7.4, cancer cells become dormant and at a PH 8.5, cancer cells will die while healthy cells will live. You can control your PH through diet absolutely! Do I have the time to make sure I am always eating an alkaline diet? Almost always the answer is no. I also want to point out that I don't think everyone who is acidic is going to get cancer, but my mom, grandpa and aunt have all had some form of cancer in the past 6 years. Does that mean I will get cancer? Maybe not, but it sure makes me think. There are zillions of products out there to balance PH, but which one is best? What about multi-vitamins? I found one that I really liked but then read that when you open a bottle of vitamins, the capsules that vitamins are encased in doesn't protect the vitamins from oxidation and they become ineffective. One article I read stated, "When exposed to air, vitamin C solution undergoes oxidation and becomes not only ineffective but also potentially harmful (oxidized vitamin C may increase the formation of free radicals)". If I informed you on everything I have read recently regarding cancer and PH and free radicals, etc, etc, you would be bored out of your mind I'm sure. I'm actually boring myself a bit right now repeating it, so let me get to the point. In February, when a close friend of mine started selling detoxifying body wraps I thought, yeah right, if these were so amazing I'm sure I would have heard about them. The idea is that as you put on weight, it is actually your fat cells filling with toxins (which is actually what happens. The purpose of fat cells it to pull toxins away from your organs). Most wraps promise that you will lose inches but it's water weight you lose and it comes right back. These wraps are different. They target specific areas and force the toxins from your fat cells which is how you can see results after only 45 mins. She promised they weren't a gimmick and because I trust her, I gave them a shot. 9 days and 3 wraps later, I had lost the last inch and a half that I could not shed around my stomach (and five weeks later it's still gone)! I needed to know more. It turns out, the company "It Works!" that makes these wraps makes an entire line of homeopathic and wellness products. Again, I started doing my research (I seriously cannot help myself. I am a dork). And here is where the universe comes in... They make a product to balance your PH and boost your immune system, their vitamins have a natural mint coating to prevent oxidation until they are digested in your stomach. As I just said, the wraps remove toxins from your body. They carry protein shakes (yet another thing my body is lacking) and they are excellent for recovery post workout, like running. The list goes on. Literally every single thing I had been looking into is covered! So here goes my shameless plug, lol! I jumped on board and am proudly offering these products through my business. You can go to my website aliciasebel.myitworks.com and check out the products yourself. Do your own research like I did. Sign up as a loyal customer to save 50% off your orders. And please feel free to email me if you have any questions, there is a link on my site. If you live in my area, you can have a wrap party and get your wrap for free! I have never been so excited to detox, lol!
Life is all about timing. I set the intention to increase my business this month and to also make big changes regarding my health. It just so happens I found a way to do both at the same time!
May's focus for my happiness project is Aim Higher:Work. When I was reading this chapter months ago in The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, I remember thinking I didn't particularly want to increase my business. I know that sounds terrible, but I just couldn't think of a way to expand my business in anyway that appealed to me. I didn't want to invest a large amount of money on equipment to offer more services (like spray tanning). I didn't want to take any additional training for esthetics when my passion is elsewhere. That doesn't mean I don't love what I do, but I also don't want to work more hours either when I finally feel after nine years I have a good balance between work, play and family. I just didn't know how it would happen.
If you have been reading my blog from the get-go, you will have read a bit on being mindful. I've been really paying attention to what I'm putting into my body, and reading a ridiculous amount on so many different topics like PH balancing, vitamin absorption, removing toxins in our bodies, etc. Often, when I'm researching products, I read WAY too much and become overwhelmed and then do nothing because I'm am so confused. Typical Gemini. Which is exactly what happened to me this past month. After spending hours reading about PH in our bodies, it left no doubt in my mind that cancer runs rampant in people that are highly acidic. One article I read said, at a PH slightly above 7.4, cancer cells become dormant and at a PH 8.5, cancer cells will die while healthy cells will live. You can control your PH through diet absolutely! Do I have the time to make sure I am always eating an alkaline diet? Almost always the answer is no. I also want to point out that I don't think everyone who is acidic is going to get cancer, but my mom, grandpa and aunt have all had some form of cancer in the past 6 years. Does that mean I will get cancer? Maybe not, but it sure makes me think. There are zillions of products out there to balance PH, but which one is best? What about multi-vitamins? I found one that I really liked but then read that when you open a bottle of vitamins, the capsules that vitamins are encased in doesn't protect the vitamins from oxidation and they become ineffective. One article I read stated, "When exposed to air, vitamin C solution undergoes oxidation and becomes not only ineffective but also potentially harmful (oxidized vitamin C may increase the formation of free radicals)". If I informed you on everything I have read recently regarding cancer and PH and free radicals, etc, etc, you would be bored out of your mind I'm sure. I'm actually boring myself a bit right now repeating it, so let me get to the point. In February, when a close friend of mine started selling detoxifying body wraps I thought, yeah right, if these were so amazing I'm sure I would have heard about them. The idea is that as you put on weight, it is actually your fat cells filling with toxins (which is actually what happens. The purpose of fat cells it to pull toxins away from your organs). Most wraps promise that you will lose inches but it's water weight you lose and it comes right back. These wraps are different. They target specific areas and force the toxins from your fat cells which is how you can see results after only 45 mins. She promised they weren't a gimmick and because I trust her, I gave them a shot. 9 days and 3 wraps later, I had lost the last inch and a half that I could not shed around my stomach (and five weeks later it's still gone)! I needed to know more. It turns out, the company "It Works!" that makes these wraps makes an entire line of homeopathic and wellness products. Again, I started doing my research (I seriously cannot help myself. I am a dork). And here is where the universe comes in... They make a product to balance your PH and boost your immune system, their vitamins have a natural mint coating to prevent oxidation until they are digested in your stomach. As I just said, the wraps remove toxins from your body. They carry protein shakes (yet another thing my body is lacking) and they are excellent for recovery post workout, like running. The list goes on. Literally every single thing I had been looking into is covered! So here goes my shameless plug, lol! I jumped on board and am proudly offering these products through my business. You can go to my website aliciasebel.myitworks.com and check out the products yourself. Do your own research like I did. Sign up as a loyal customer to save 50% off your orders. And please feel free to email me if you have any questions, there is a link on my site. If you live in my area, you can have a wrap party and get your wrap for free! I have never been so excited to detox, lol!
Life is all about timing. I set the intention to increase my business this month and to also make big changes regarding my health. It just so happens I found a way to do both at the same time!
Monday 30 April 2012
My co-worker.
I can't believe it's been over 2 weeks since I've posted last. My life feels as if it's been in fast forward and just now I've had the chance to hit play. At the beginning of April, I thought, what a bad month to be focusing on Marriage. My husband had just been notified he would be out of the country for 10 days and I had also planned my yearly holistic weekend getaway with my mom. How can you focus on your marriage when half the month will be spent apart?
It turns out that the old saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is actually true. And not just because I was single mom-ing it for a week, but because it really gives you a chance to step back and reflect on your behavior, your action or non-action. If that makes any sense at all... What I mean is I really had a chance to see what my husband does for the family on a daily basis and what I am able to accomplish because of everything he does. It may not seem like a big deal, but everyday when he takes the kids to school, it gives me the opportunity to go for a run without waking at the crack of dawn. I could go on, but mostly we have found the time to reconnect in small ways. I sucked ass at giving proofs of love, I definitely nagged but I didn't dump my problems on him that he couldn't solve, I didn't expect praise or appreciation and I tried my hardest to fight right.
Every year, my mom has headed off to Naramata, BC for the Spring Festival of Awareness. For some, it may be overwhelmingly "granola" or "hippyish" but it's an amazingly restful and spiritual weekend. It's a chance to reconnect with yourself and this year was more than I could have ever imagined for. My mother and I, along with two friends of mine, headed off for a weekend of bliss. I gained some serious insight into my life, what is truly important, shed some "baggage" and came home a new person. Without spending a moment with my husband, I felt more centered to tackle life... together.
It's been an emotional week for the both of us, each for different reasons. Tonight as we ate dinner, Dylan told me about the little girl he met in India this past week who was being ignored as she was trying to get the attention of some people outside of a restaurant. They thought she was trying to sell something but she kept pointing at the water bottle that belonged to a man standing next to my husband. It's not that they were bad people, it's just that they are so used to it they don't even see it anymore. The thought of any child wandering the streets, no parents, and begging for water is more than I can bear. (For the record, they did give her their water to drink). Thinking of that really puts life into perspective. For all the things I complain about, nothing can compare to the suffering that little girl endures on a daily basis. This weekend, one of the presenters in a workshop I attended said, "It's not that I expect I can stop all the children in Africa from starving, I just want to live in a world that gives a shit that there are children starving in Africa". The small mundane things that we bicker about (in marriage and in life) just don't feel important enough to waste energy on anymore.
All in all, I feel this month may not have been as "successful" as the past months, but it felt more real, more honest. I went deeper into it than I originally thought I would, and am so grateful for what has come out of it. Whoever said marriage is a full time job, really hit the nail on the head. I'm pretty lucky to have my hubby as my co-worker. :)
It turns out that the old saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is actually true. And not just because I was single mom-ing it for a week, but because it really gives you a chance to step back and reflect on your behavior, your action or non-action. If that makes any sense at all... What I mean is I really had a chance to see what my husband does for the family on a daily basis and what I am able to accomplish because of everything he does. It may not seem like a big deal, but everyday when he takes the kids to school, it gives me the opportunity to go for a run without waking at the crack of dawn. I could go on, but mostly we have found the time to reconnect in small ways. I sucked ass at giving proofs of love, I definitely nagged but I didn't dump my problems on him that he couldn't solve, I didn't expect praise or appreciation and I tried my hardest to fight right.
Every year, my mom has headed off to Naramata, BC for the Spring Festival of Awareness. For some, it may be overwhelmingly "granola" or "hippyish" but it's an amazingly restful and spiritual weekend. It's a chance to reconnect with yourself and this year was more than I could have ever imagined for. My mother and I, along with two friends of mine, headed off for a weekend of bliss. I gained some serious insight into my life, what is truly important, shed some "baggage" and came home a new person. Without spending a moment with my husband, I felt more centered to tackle life... together.
It's been an emotional week for the both of us, each for different reasons. Tonight as we ate dinner, Dylan told me about the little girl he met in India this past week who was being ignored as she was trying to get the attention of some people outside of a restaurant. They thought she was trying to sell something but she kept pointing at the water bottle that belonged to a man standing next to my husband. It's not that they were bad people, it's just that they are so used to it they don't even see it anymore. The thought of any child wandering the streets, no parents, and begging for water is more than I can bear. (For the record, they did give her their water to drink). Thinking of that really puts life into perspective. For all the things I complain about, nothing can compare to the suffering that little girl endures on a daily basis. This weekend, one of the presenters in a workshop I attended said, "It's not that I expect I can stop all the children in Africa from starving, I just want to live in a world that gives a shit that there are children starving in Africa". The small mundane things that we bicker about (in marriage and in life) just don't feel important enough to waste energy on anymore.
All in all, I feel this month may not have been as "successful" as the past months, but it felt more real, more honest. I went deeper into it than I originally thought I would, and am so grateful for what has come out of it. Whoever said marriage is a full time job, really hit the nail on the head. I'm pretty lucky to have my hubby as my co-worker. :)
Sunday 15 April 2012
Sun Run... Woot woot!!!
I knew yesterday that as much as I did not want to participate in the Vancouver Sun Run, that I would be really glad I did, once it was over. I don't like pressure. I wasn't worried about actually running 10km, I was worried that I wouldn't find the start line, or miss the bus back to my brother and sister-in-law's place afterwards to shower (talk about 3rd world problems). And, I'm just not all that competitive. So all in all, I just wasn't feeling it. But, this blog was created to keep me accountable... And I promise you, if I had not blogged about doing the Sun Run, I would have absolutely bailed on it today.
Just over two months ago, I started running regularly as part of my happiness project. My first run was a mere 4km and let me tell you, it felt a lot longer than that at the time. Now, 10km is not easy by any means, but in January I would have bet money that I wouldn't be able to run that distance in under an hour . So today I am so happy that I completed my first official 10km run in 57 minutes and 57.4 seconds. 47 000 other people joined me and I spent the majority of my time dodging runners. It was soooooo crowded (It took 59 mins just to cross the START line!!!!). Considering all that, I'm ecstatic about my time. I'll take it! After all the worrying and complaining, I am glad I did it... I'm feeling pretty proud of myself. :)
Just over two months ago, I started running regularly as part of my happiness project. My first run was a mere 4km and let me tell you, it felt a lot longer than that at the time. Now, 10km is not easy by any means, but in January I would have bet money that I wouldn't be able to run that distance in under an hour . So today I am so happy that I completed my first official 10km run in 57 minutes and 57.4 seconds. 47 000 other people joined me and I spent the majority of my time dodging runners. It was soooooo crowded (It took 59 mins just to cross the START line!!!!). Considering all that, I'm ecstatic about my time. I'll take it! After all the worrying and complaining, I am glad I did it... I'm feeling pretty proud of myself. :)
 | ||
| Taken from my iPhone 20 mins before the start. |
Sunday 8 April 2012
Nagging. Or as I call it, Persuading!
When I started my blog, I promised myself I would "Be Alicia". I needed to be honest about my experiences so at the end of my project I could look back and reflect on my achievements and on my failures as well. Having said that... I've decided that if you are tackling something big, the timing is SO important. Like this past week. Extreme Nice. One week of no nagging, giving proofs of love, etc. Right. Not such a good idea when you are having a PMS week from hell. I usually breeze through it with relatively little irritability, but I was out of control this month. For the record, I bit my tongue a lot this past week, but still the nagging was out of control. I literally could not stop myself. I'm sure any guy reading this will think I'm full of BS, but it is like someone takes over, a sort of demonic possession, lol! And I know my husband is thinking that he doesn't recall any moments where I had any restraint, but I swear I did. I wasn't totally evil. I'm seriously tempted to keep a record of all the annoying things he does this week and how I didn't say a word. I'm JOKING!!! Well maybe only half joking. Would that defeat my purpose? Maybe I'll just keep it for my record and if I ever needed proof... So, I'm exorcising myself today (Is there an app for that?) and restarting my week of Extreme Nice. Right. Now. We went for a run together last weekend and had an awesome time... So today, we are going again. We have decided to make it a regular date and are doing something good for our health too. And we started a TV series together that we both really enjoy (it's a miracle!). So even with the downfalls, the week wasn't a total failure. :)
PS. I searched apps for nagging just for curiosity.... You can rate your nagging, rate others' nagging and the best one I found... HusbandMotivator! Answer 4 short questions about your husband and you get a custom script of phrases that will motivate your man, lmfao! They call nagging... persuading! It sounds so much nicer, lol!
PPS. There’s an old joke about a president walking with his wife, who sees one of her old boyfriends in a less-than-glorious occupation. The president looks at the old boyfriend and remarks, “If you hadn’t married me, you might be married to that guy.”
The first lady answers calmly, “If I had married him, he’d be president.”
Dylan will be singing Bette Midler's "You are the wind beneath my wings" by the end of the week! How's that for a visual?!?
PS. I searched apps for nagging just for curiosity.... You can rate your nagging, rate others' nagging and the best one I found... HusbandMotivator! Answer 4 short questions about your husband and you get a custom script of phrases that will motivate your man, lmfao! They call nagging... persuading! It sounds so much nicer, lol!
PPS. There’s an old joke about a president walking with his wife, who sees one of her old boyfriends in a less-than-glorious occupation. The president looks at the old boyfriend and remarks, “If you hadn’t married me, you might be married to that guy.”
The first lady answers calmly, “If I had married him, he’d be president.”
Dylan will be singing Bette Midler's "You are the wind beneath my wings" by the end of the week! How's that for a visual?!?
Sunday 1 April 2012
Remember Love
March is officially over and a new month brings new resolutions. Overall, March was generally fun. I will admit, spending a rare sunny day in my basement hauling out items for trash or donation, wasn't fun at the time. But not dodging random Rubbermaid containers filled with anonymous camping gear on my way to the treadmill is extremely satisfying. I anticipate April will be more challenging... Marriage.
APRIL
Remember Love
Marriage
Resolutions:
Quit Nagging.
Don't expect Praise or Appreciation.
Fight Right.
No dumping.
Give Proofs of Love.
As I reread Gretchen Rubin's chapter on Marriage in her book "The Happiness Project" this morning, I felt renewed. Making a "project" out of my marriage seems bizarre to me and I admit, a bit of a daunting task. A marriage takes two people, and as the Happiness Project is about changing myself, not my husband, it seems unfair that I need to be the only one to change. I just didn't want to do the work. She writes, "My marriage was the foundation for all the other important choices in my life: where I lived, having kids, my friends, my work, my leisure. The atmosphere for my marriage set the weather for my whole life". Okay... I get it. It's amazing how the most important relationship in your life is often the one that suffers the most neglect. I know from talking to other women (it's what I do for a living) that I am not the only one. Your partner is supposed to love you for better or worse, but that doesn't give anyone the excuse to behave badly. And for those of you with small kids, it's even harder to make time for each other. For my month's challenges, I've decided to tackle the exact resolutions that Gretchen did. They won't be easy by any means, especially (if you have read my earlier posts) I have issues with things always being "fair". Sometimes drastic change is helpful to kick a bad habit. I have friends who swear by cleanses to kick start a diet, and many people go "cold turkey" when quitting smoking. With this idea in mind, I'm going cold turkey for a week, which happens to be the amount of time it takes to kick a habit. As Gretchen called it, a Week of Extreme Nice that "stretched me beyond my ordinary efforts, that showed me new depths within myself". I'm heading to the library this week as well to pick up some material on bettering your marriage. I think every relationship, no matter how great it is, can always use some improvement. Dylan and I are coming up on our 7 year wedding anniversary (where did the time go?) and although Dylan has some amazing qualities (he's an incredible dad, works hard, does ALL the cooking, cleans, etc) the bad qualities are the ones that I often focus on. My hope for this month, is that my good behavior will trigger him to give me the things that I need from our marriage. Because as I've discovered... nagging him to be more dependable, supportive, etc just doesn't work! I remember watching Seal and Heidi Klum on Oprah (I know they just split up, but the advice is still great) as he offered up some advice on marriage. He said that if you treat your spouse the way you treat your best friend, your marriage will flourish. It's okay to have disagreements, but name calling, swearing and overreacting are unacceptable behaviors. So here goes... month two. A new set of tasks while still maintaining my resolutions from last month. Wish me luck!
APRIL
Remember Love
Marriage
Resolutions:
Quit Nagging.
Don't expect Praise or Appreciation.
Fight Right.
No dumping.
Give Proofs of Love.
As I reread Gretchen Rubin's chapter on Marriage in her book "The Happiness Project" this morning, I felt renewed. Making a "project" out of my marriage seems bizarre to me and I admit, a bit of a daunting task. A marriage takes two people, and as the Happiness Project is about changing myself, not my husband, it seems unfair that I need to be the only one to change. I just didn't want to do the work. She writes, "My marriage was the foundation for all the other important choices in my life: where I lived, having kids, my friends, my work, my leisure. The atmosphere for my marriage set the weather for my whole life". Okay... I get it. It's amazing how the most important relationship in your life is often the one that suffers the most neglect. I know from talking to other women (it's what I do for a living) that I am not the only one. Your partner is supposed to love you for better or worse, but that doesn't give anyone the excuse to behave badly. And for those of you with small kids, it's even harder to make time for each other. For my month's challenges, I've decided to tackle the exact resolutions that Gretchen did. They won't be easy by any means, especially (if you have read my earlier posts) I have issues with things always being "fair". Sometimes drastic change is helpful to kick a bad habit. I have friends who swear by cleanses to kick start a diet, and many people go "cold turkey" when quitting smoking. With this idea in mind, I'm going cold turkey for a week, which happens to be the amount of time it takes to kick a habit. As Gretchen called it, a Week of Extreme Nice that "stretched me beyond my ordinary efforts, that showed me new depths within myself". I'm heading to the library this week as well to pick up some material on bettering your marriage. I think every relationship, no matter how great it is, can always use some improvement. Dylan and I are coming up on our 7 year wedding anniversary (where did the time go?) and although Dylan has some amazing qualities (he's an incredible dad, works hard, does ALL the cooking, cleans, etc) the bad qualities are the ones that I often focus on. My hope for this month, is that my good behavior will trigger him to give me the things that I need from our marriage. Because as I've discovered... nagging him to be more dependable, supportive, etc just doesn't work! I remember watching Seal and Heidi Klum on Oprah (I know they just split up, but the advice is still great) as he offered up some advice on marriage. He said that if you treat your spouse the way you treat your best friend, your marriage will flourish. It's okay to have disagreements, but name calling, swearing and overreacting are unacceptable behaviors. So here goes... month two. A new set of tasks while still maintaining my resolutions from last month. Wish me luck!
Tuesday 27 March 2012
Back to School
With March nearing the end, I've been reflecting on the small, but still amazing changes I've experienced this past month. If I had to grade myself, I would get an A-. The nagging task list seems to only be getting bigger, and although I haven't been able to cross many big projects off the list, I've taken some big steps to get the ball rolling. But other than that, I've been a superstar! I'm consistently running 3 days per week, drinking the recommended daily water intake, and taking my vitamins. There have only been a few nights where I didn't quite make the 9 hours of sleep (and that may have had something to do with drinking wine the night before). My basement is amazingly empty... or at least seems that way after I hauled off the majority of it to the dump and even sold some things on Craigslist and made a few extra bones. My mornings are running smoothly thanks to my 10 minute pre-bedtime tidy. My energy has absolutely increased, no doubt about it, and after all, that was the goal for the month. I've even been inspired to go back to school for interior design this year (as opposed to waiting to apply next year). I was worried I couldn't afford to go to school if I was unable to work, but it turns out, when you break it down and ask your self, "What is the problem?" the solution is often staring you in the face. I can start by taking one course per semester and really only works out to about $200/month. One of my nagging tasks was to call Shaw to get my cable down and ended up saving about $140/month. A few more cutbacks and I've got that covered Ta-da! That solves the money part of my worry. I was also concerned I couldn't work as much, but the course times are super flexible and many run on Saturday or evenings, some even run every day for 2 weeks and one course is complete. My new favorite quote is "One year from now you will wish you had started today" and it has truly sparked something inside of me. Having more energy makes it seem less daunting to make some big life changes. I've also realised it's a circle as well... Just thinking about making the changes gives me MORE energy. First month down... next month, Marriage!
Saturday 24 March 2012
YUM-O!
Happy Spring! The first weekend of spring and the sun is out full force. High of 17 today and best part? No hockey, soccer or ballet to be running to. Woohoo! Today some serious yard work will be done and tomorrow the basement is getting a complete overhaul. Two big checks off the list.
Tonight I am getting together with some ladies for our monthly Dress Club. When I read the Happiness Project last October, I was inspired by one of Gretchen's resolutions. In her month to focus on Friendship, she started a book club. It's a great reason to get together with your friends once a month. But, I knew I probably wouldn't be able to entice my friends to start a book club so I put it out into the universe that I would love a great reason to bring some friends together on a monthly basis. A few days later, a client told me about the ladies group she used to belong to, and so the Dress Club was born. Once a month, the same ladies get together and each person takes a turn hosting. Each lady brings $25 for the hostess and the rule is the hostess has to spend that money on herself before the next get-together. The money is mostly spent on clothes (hence "Dress" club) and with 13 people in the group, that's $300 when it's your turn. Genius! Guilt free spending. My prerequisites were you must be committed for as many months as there were members (13 ladies=13 months), if you were unable to attend, your money still had to get to the hostess. I wanted the group to be fun and to bring friends together that may have not met otherwise. I've reconnected with some friends from my past that I had lost touch with, met some people I may have never had the chance to really get to know, and had some new experiences with my close pals. We first got together in November at my home for everyone to meet and since then have done a hip hop dance class, gone pole dancing, made vision boards and tonight a chef is teaching us to make delicious desserts. As Rachel Ray would say, YUM-O! Lol! I can't even explain how much joy it has brought me. I love how my friends have connected with each other as well. And when I bought my riding boots in November, I felt really blessed to have so many wonderful ladies in my life, and everyday when I put them on, I'm reminded how each person has added to my life. Since our Dress Club was born, I've had a few people tell me it has inspired them to do the same and its bringing them the same amount joy it has brought to me. My client that was in the original Dress Club said their group went strong for almost 10 years! She now has a wine club, so instead of money, the hostess gets a bottle of wine from each member. Life gets in the way of living sometimes and I couldn't think of a better way to make time for your friends.
Tonight I am getting together with some ladies for our monthly Dress Club. When I read the Happiness Project last October, I was inspired by one of Gretchen's resolutions. In her month to focus on Friendship, she started a book club. It's a great reason to get together with your friends once a month. But, I knew I probably wouldn't be able to entice my friends to start a book club so I put it out into the universe that I would love a great reason to bring some friends together on a monthly basis. A few days later, a client told me about the ladies group she used to belong to, and so the Dress Club was born. Once a month, the same ladies get together and each person takes a turn hosting. Each lady brings $25 for the hostess and the rule is the hostess has to spend that money on herself before the next get-together. The money is mostly spent on clothes (hence "Dress" club) and with 13 people in the group, that's $300 when it's your turn. Genius! Guilt free spending. My prerequisites were you must be committed for as many months as there were members (13 ladies=13 months), if you were unable to attend, your money still had to get to the hostess. I wanted the group to be fun and to bring friends together that may have not met otherwise. I've reconnected with some friends from my past that I had lost touch with, met some people I may have never had the chance to really get to know, and had some new experiences with my close pals. We first got together in November at my home for everyone to meet and since then have done a hip hop dance class, gone pole dancing, made vision boards and tonight a chef is teaching us to make delicious desserts. As Rachel Ray would say, YUM-O! Lol! I can't even explain how much joy it has brought me. I love how my friends have connected with each other as well. And when I bought my riding boots in November, I felt really blessed to have so many wonderful ladies in my life, and everyday when I put them on, I'm reminded how each person has added to my life. Since our Dress Club was born, I've had a few people tell me it has inspired them to do the same and its bringing them the same amount joy it has brought to me. My client that was in the original Dress Club said their group went strong for almost 10 years! She now has a wine club, so instead of money, the hostess gets a bottle of wine from each member. Life gets in the way of living sometimes and I couldn't think of a better way to make time for your friends.
Monday 19 March 2012
Welcome back bonus
It's amazing how the sun can give you a huge pick-me-up. I envisioned Spring Break to be chaos... listening to the kids beating each other while I try to create a relaxing environment for my clients (and I stress out). I ended up having my afternoon client cancel their appointment today, so I chose to be grateful for a sunny day off and spent the day with my friend, sitting in the sun and watching the kids ride their bikes. And on the way home, I stopped at another friend's home to drop something off and was invited in for dinner. I love my friends! I was so relaxed, I really didn't want to go to yoga. Today was the first opportunity I've had to go to yoga since I blogged about going (my son has soccer at the same time normally, but no soccer during spring break). But since I did blog about it, it means I'm accountable. I suppose I could have lied about going... Anyway, I went. And I had the most amazing surprise when I got there! I misplaced my pass card (I'm sure a certain 4 year old may have had something to do with that) so I had to get them to look up my account. I bought a 12 punch pass two years ago, went once and that was it. I now have 22 punches on my card when I should only have 11! Talk about a welcome back bonus! Thank you universe (or whoever screwed up). I am truly grateful. My legs may not be tomorrow though, lol! Altogether, I'd say that today was an excellent start to my week!
Saturday 17 March 2012
Baby steps are still steps forward.
I'm always surprised when inspiration strikes. Sometimes it's on a friend's facebook status, a billboard... Today I read the most amazing quote on Pinterest that literally stopped me in my tracks.
A year from now you will wish you had started today. -Karen Lamb
Pinterest is genious. Period. Sharing an amazing array of things that inspire you. But can you have too much inspiration? My list of DIY projects continues to grow, while the number of items being crossed off has barely taken off. Does this mean I should stop looking for inspiration?
Today my family celebrated my nephew's first birthday! It always amazes me how fast one year passes by... especially when you remember back to where you were on milestone days. I remember exactly where I was when my nephew was born, where I was in my life... If I took a snapshot of my life then and now, to anyone looking would seem almost identical. But one thing has changed. My focus and determination. My life for the past few years has felt like limbo. I'm happy, but could be happier. I love my job, but know it's not what I want to do when I grow up. But my mindset has shifted in a major way. Looking back to a year ago, there are a million things I wish I had started. Which is exactly why that quote struck a chord. Why wait?
Almost two years ago, my mom took me to a workshop to see a motivational speaker/life coach. I was bribed with a weekend away and was truly taken aback by what I took away with me. Tama Kieves' book "This Time I Dance" is about living the life you love. She spoke about listening to your inner voice that so often gets drowned out by our own negativity. What is it that is really holding us back. For many, it's fear. She had us write down 10 things we would do today that we love if money or social judgements were not an issue. I had over 30! My fear at the time? What if I choose to do one of these thing for a living and I'm miserable? So instead of making the wrong choice in life, I often choose nothing. And really, choosing to do nothing is still a choice. Looking back, it was the spark that ignited the change. I realised that most of the things on my list were all small aspects of Interior Design. Photography, painting, you name it! Today, I may not be able to quit work to go back to school, but that doesn't mean I can't paint, or even drool over beautiful photography. Baby steps are still steps forward.
For more information about Tama Kieves click http://www.awakeningartistry.com/thistime.html
A year from now you will wish you had started today. -Karen Lamb
Pinterest is genious. Period. Sharing an amazing array of things that inspire you. But can you have too much inspiration? My list of DIY projects continues to grow, while the number of items being crossed off has barely taken off. Does this mean I should stop looking for inspiration?
Today my family celebrated my nephew's first birthday! It always amazes me how fast one year passes by... especially when you remember back to where you were on milestone days. I remember exactly where I was when my nephew was born, where I was in my life... If I took a snapshot of my life then and now, to anyone looking would seem almost identical. But one thing has changed. My focus and determination. My life for the past few years has felt like limbo. I'm happy, but could be happier. I love my job, but know it's not what I want to do when I grow up. But my mindset has shifted in a major way. Looking back to a year ago, there are a million things I wish I had started. Which is exactly why that quote struck a chord. Why wait?
Almost two years ago, my mom took me to a workshop to see a motivational speaker/life coach. I was bribed with a weekend away and was truly taken aback by what I took away with me. Tama Kieves' book "This Time I Dance" is about living the life you love. She spoke about listening to your inner voice that so often gets drowned out by our own negativity. What is it that is really holding us back. For many, it's fear. She had us write down 10 things we would do today that we love if money or social judgements were not an issue. I had over 30! My fear at the time? What if I choose to do one of these thing for a living and I'm miserable? So instead of making the wrong choice in life, I often choose nothing. And really, choosing to do nothing is still a choice. Looking back, it was the spark that ignited the change. I realised that most of the things on my list were all small aspects of Interior Design. Photography, painting, you name it! Today, I may not be able to quit work to go back to school, but that doesn't mean I can't paint, or even drool over beautiful photography. Baby steps are still steps forward.
For more information about Tama Kieves click http://www.awakeningartistry.com/thistime.html
Friday 16 March 2012
To tweet or not to tweet. That is the question.
I did it. Im officially on Twitter. I fought Facebook for a couple of years before I joined, now I don't know what I would have done without it. And so it goes with Twitter. One of my blog followers (Gawd it feels weird/awesome typing that!) suggested I get on Twitter. My answer was, "Maybe I should". I had a basic idea of what I thought Twitter was, a sort of Facebook update, but in actuality, it's a micro blog. I can post links to my blog posts and follow my friends/favorite celebrities and authors. Most of you are probably thinking, Duh! But I'm kind of excited. It's never too late for an old dog to learn new tricks! It took a few minutes to sign up, I clicked on all my peeps I want to follow and then the most amazing thing happened... I got my first follower. So I clicked to see who it was and it was Justin Beiber, lmfao! Seriously made my day. And I'm only half kidding. My first "tweet": Justin Beiber is my first follower, lol! Is it wrong for a 28 year old to have "Baby" as their ringtone?
(It really is my ring tone, drives my husband nuts.) But hey! Now that the Beibs is rockin' homegirl Carly Rae, who could have anything bad to say about him? I wants to squeeze his cheeks and talk baby talk to him. Is that maybe mildly creepy?
Anyhoo, I went to the Vitamin Discount Store on 1st Avenue this morning, got some great information on my new vitamins (which she says are excellent) and she also told me I could be taking some extra iron as well on top of the multi. Done. They cost about $1/day but if I was going to try to eat enough spinach every day to fulfill my daily quota, I would be spending a lot more than that. Plus, I'm not Popeye.
(It really is my ring tone, drives my husband nuts.) But hey! Now that the Beibs is rockin' homegirl Carly Rae, who could have anything bad to say about him? I wants to squeeze his cheeks and talk baby talk to him. Is that maybe mildly creepy?
Anyhoo, I went to the Vitamin Discount Store on 1st Avenue this morning, got some great information on my new vitamins (which she says are excellent) and she also told me I could be taking some extra iron as well on top of the multi. Done. They cost about $1/day but if I was going to try to eat enough spinach every day to fulfill my daily quota, I would be spending a lot more than that. Plus, I'm not Popeye.
Thursday 15 March 2012
1st World Problems
Today I am half way through my first month of my happiness project... which means my Gemini self is ready to move onto next month's projects, lol! But alas, one of my major overall goals is to finish my projects to completion. With the organising well underway, and the nagging tasks being picked at slowly, but surely, I am feeling more energetic every day.
Yesterday was the start to my basement overhaul, nothing major, but finally bought a shelf to get all my paint cans up off the floor. This makes me very happy indeed. I have found the greatest storage shelf at Costco... $30, made of recycled plastic, super durable AND... I put it together in 4 minutes with no help and no tools! I figured on my monthly Costco trip I can grab one of these babies and have the organised basement of my dreams in the next few months (without breaking the bank).
I've been taking my multivitamin daily, which reminds me, I ran out today and forgot to get some more. Damn. Guess I'll be running out in the morning to pick some more up. And I will make sure to get the non-chewable kind this time! I was telling a client yesterday about my horrible vitamins and she said, "Well, that's definitely a 1st world problem". She proceeded to explain how 3rd world problems are having no clean water to drink, no shelter, etc. And here I am complaining about the texture of my vitamins. She told me about how she got called out by her niece for complaining there was no iPod docking station in her 5 star hotel room. Yup. 1st world problems at their best. Time to suck it up in the vitamin department. (And really, wasn't "Be grateful. Always." one of my Commandments?)
It's exactly one month today to the Vancouver Sun Run. Since the end of January, I've been running three days per week and in the last three weeks I've been hitting 10km at least 2 of those days. Maybe it's time to make some longer distance goals! This month's Canadian Running magazine is all about the half-marathon. It even had an article about how iron depletion can affect your endurance. I was absolutely supposed to read that. Women should be getting 18mg/day of iron. So I checked the label of my vitamins to see how they added up and I am actually supposed to be taking 3 (not 1) of those awful pills per day! Oh my god, I am so blonde sometimes. The article also explains why runners are at higher risk of iron depletion as well. Who knew?!?! Progressive Multi are actually a great multi-vitamin specifically for women, and not only contain the vitamins and minerals we need, but also many added ingredients to balance PH and enhance digestion. And while I was looking for a picture to post, I discovered they have a vitamin especially for active women, and it's not a chewable, Yay! So starting tomorrow, I'm upping my daily dose, lol!
PS. If you want to actually pee your pants laughing... Check out www.first-world-problems.com/. It's a blog of random 1st world "problems" like this beauty: "My Porshe is too old to be new, but not old enough to be classic". Seriously. Funny. Shiznit.
Yesterday was the start to my basement overhaul, nothing major, but finally bought a shelf to get all my paint cans up off the floor. This makes me very happy indeed. I have found the greatest storage shelf at Costco... $30, made of recycled plastic, super durable AND... I put it together in 4 minutes with no help and no tools! I figured on my monthly Costco trip I can grab one of these babies and have the organised basement of my dreams in the next few months (without breaking the bank).
I've been taking my multivitamin daily, which reminds me, I ran out today and forgot to get some more. Damn. Guess I'll be running out in the morning to pick some more up. And I will make sure to get the non-chewable kind this time! I was telling a client yesterday about my horrible vitamins and she said, "Well, that's definitely a 1st world problem". She proceeded to explain how 3rd world problems are having no clean water to drink, no shelter, etc. And here I am complaining about the texture of my vitamins. She told me about how she got called out by her niece for complaining there was no iPod docking station in her 5 star hotel room. Yup. 1st world problems at their best. Time to suck it up in the vitamin department. (And really, wasn't "Be grateful. Always." one of my Commandments?)
It's exactly one month today to the Vancouver Sun Run. Since the end of January, I've been running three days per week and in the last three weeks I've been hitting 10km at least 2 of those days. Maybe it's time to make some longer distance goals! This month's Canadian Running magazine is all about the half-marathon. It even had an article about how iron depletion can affect your endurance. I was absolutely supposed to read that. Women should be getting 18mg/day of iron. So I checked the label of my vitamins to see how they added up and I am actually supposed to be taking 3 (not 1) of those awful pills per day! Oh my god, I am so blonde sometimes. The article also explains why runners are at higher risk of iron depletion as well. Who knew?!?! Progressive Multi are actually a great multi-vitamin specifically for women, and not only contain the vitamins and minerals we need, but also many added ingredients to balance PH and enhance digestion. And while I was looking for a picture to post, I discovered they have a vitamin especially for active women, and it's not a chewable, Yay! So starting tomorrow, I'm upping my daily dose, lol!
PS. If you want to actually pee your pants laughing... Check out www.first-world-problems.com/. It's a blog of random 1st world "problems" like this beauty: "My Porshe is too old to be new, but not old enough to be classic". Seriously. Funny. Shiznit.
Monday 12 March 2012
Mindfulness
Mindful (adjective): Attentive, aware or careful.
This month's focus is all about boosting energy. And my energy is definitely improving. My pace has picked up throughout the day while I'm working, and my butt isn't dragging anymore in the afternoon. I've cut out my afternoon tea (that I loaded about a tablespoon of sugar into) that I previously could not survive without. Goodbye empty calories!
I had a plumber friend come by today to give me a quote to rough in our ensuite (and he is willing to trade for his services!!!!). Even if it takes a year to complete the project, just getting the ball rolling is extraordinarily exciting for me.
Although energy is my main focus for March, I keep coming back to mindfulness. Mindful about what I'm putting into my body, what I'm spending monthly on "things", how I spend my time. Going back to my Vision Board, the centre petal is all about paying off debt, cutting spending to build an emergency fund, etc. I have a fairly good idea where the dollars go each month, but slowly every month, the bills keep creeping up. My husband and I both work from home, so last month we cut back the number of days my daughter goes to daycare and saved a substantial amount of money. Today, I called our cable provider and saved an additional $140 per month. I'm still in shock. Next plan, budget baby! All my bills are sent to me via email and are all due on different days. My email goes to my phone, and I've decided that's not maybe the best idea for me. I check it and forget about it. Last month I forgot to pay my hydro, cable and phone bill. Whoops! Big whoops. At least with a paper bill, I can leave it out and it's a constant reminder for me to pay it. So... identify the problem! To keep it simple, I'm registering all my bills to automatically be paid on my prepaid credit card (best part, no bill at the end of the month!), and then I have only one bill to pay per month. Less time wasted seems to be the emerging theme. I'm streamlining my life and baby, and boy does it feel good!
This month's focus is all about boosting energy. And my energy is definitely improving. My pace has picked up throughout the day while I'm working, and my butt isn't dragging anymore in the afternoon. I've cut out my afternoon tea (that I loaded about a tablespoon of sugar into) that I previously could not survive without. Goodbye empty calories!
I had a plumber friend come by today to give me a quote to rough in our ensuite (and he is willing to trade for his services!!!!). Even if it takes a year to complete the project, just getting the ball rolling is extraordinarily exciting for me.
Although energy is my main focus for March, I keep coming back to mindfulness. Mindful about what I'm putting into my body, what I'm spending monthly on "things", how I spend my time. Going back to my Vision Board, the centre petal is all about paying off debt, cutting spending to build an emergency fund, etc. I have a fairly good idea where the dollars go each month, but slowly every month, the bills keep creeping up. My husband and I both work from home, so last month we cut back the number of days my daughter goes to daycare and saved a substantial amount of money. Today, I called our cable provider and saved an additional $140 per month. I'm still in shock. Next plan, budget baby! All my bills are sent to me via email and are all due on different days. My email goes to my phone, and I've decided that's not maybe the best idea for me. I check it and forget about it. Last month I forgot to pay my hydro, cable and phone bill. Whoops! Big whoops. At least with a paper bill, I can leave it out and it's a constant reminder for me to pay it. So... identify the problem! To keep it simple, I'm registering all my bills to automatically be paid on my prepaid credit card (best part, no bill at the end of the month!), and then I have only one bill to pay per month. Less time wasted seems to be the emerging theme. I'm streamlining my life and baby, and boy does it feel good!
Thursday 8 March 2012
The 10 Minute Tidy
I'm a firm believer in the power of thought. A sort of "ask and you will receive". My current mission is bargaining. I put it out there and it is amazing what has come my way! Since last Friday, I have traded services for a cooking class, Tupperware, babysitting and even a gift certificate for Spa Utopia! I am stoked. It may be a go for the plumbing to be roughed in for my ensuite as well! Hmmm... maybe I could get someone to clean my house on a regular basis. Any takers?
This morning was day two for my 10 minute tidy before bed. The past two nights I have unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, put away kids toys, set up for my appointment for the morning and made lunches. What a difference ten minutes makes!!! The mornings now involve making toast for myself and the kids and relaxing with my cup of tea. A client lent me a great book a few weeks ago about eco-friendly recipes/lifestyle and I've hardly had time to flip through. I had twenty minutes to read today and learned some amazing things I had always wondered about. The book is called Earth-Bound Cook (250 recipes for Delicious Food and a healthy Planet) by Myra Goodman. Not only does the book have some incredible recipes, it talks about making some simple choices to lessen our carbon footprint. So... I will admit, I'm not always the best when it come to this stuff. I have styro-foam cups for the kids at my children's birthday parties (Gasp!) and I don't insist on buying organic meats and veggies (although we try to buy most of our produce in the organic section). My husband has an amazing garden in the summer, but it doesn't help us much through the winter months. I don't want to bore you with all the details if this isn't your thing, but there is one thing I have to share. Protecting yourself from unhealthy pesticide residues. It's a list (Surprise, surprise! I love lists!), so here goes:
15 Highest in Pesticide Residues
1. Celery
2. Peaches
3. Strawberries
4. Apples
5. Blueberries (domestic)
6. Nectarines
7. Bell Peppers
8. Spinach
9. Kale
10. Cherries
11. Potatoes
12. Grapes (imported)
13. Lettuce
14. Blueberries (imported)
15. Carrots
You can cut your pesticide exposure from fresh produce by up to 90% by choosing to buy these in the organic section. I had always wondered about which ones I should insist on buying organic and which ones maybe don't make that much of a difference. I was surprised about the potatoes... for some reason I just thought about pesticides being sprayed on produce above the soil. Blonde moment, lol! And I might not have discovered this tidbit of information if I hadn't done my ten minute tidy the night before. It's still awhile until my month to focus on mindfulness (December), but it's never too early to make better choices involving your health and being mindful of what you put into your mouth! The book is pretty great, I may just have to go out and get a copy for myself!
This morning was day two for my 10 minute tidy before bed. The past two nights I have unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, put away kids toys, set up for my appointment for the morning and made lunches. What a difference ten minutes makes!!! The mornings now involve making toast for myself and the kids and relaxing with my cup of tea. A client lent me a great book a few weeks ago about eco-friendly recipes/lifestyle and I've hardly had time to flip through. I had twenty minutes to read today and learned some amazing things I had always wondered about. The book is called Earth-Bound Cook (250 recipes for Delicious Food and a healthy Planet) by Myra Goodman. Not only does the book have some incredible recipes, it talks about making some simple choices to lessen our carbon footprint. So... I will admit, I'm not always the best when it come to this stuff. I have styro-foam cups for the kids at my children's birthday parties (Gasp!) and I don't insist on buying organic meats and veggies (although we try to buy most of our produce in the organic section). My husband has an amazing garden in the summer, but it doesn't help us much through the winter months. I don't want to bore you with all the details if this isn't your thing, but there is one thing I have to share. Protecting yourself from unhealthy pesticide residues. It's a list (Surprise, surprise! I love lists!), so here goes:
15 Highest in Pesticide Residues
1. Celery
2. Peaches
3. Strawberries
4. Apples
5. Blueberries (domestic)
6. Nectarines
7. Bell Peppers
8. Spinach
9. Kale
10. Cherries
11. Potatoes
12. Grapes (imported)
13. Lettuce
14. Blueberries (imported)
15. Carrots
You can cut your pesticide exposure from fresh produce by up to 90% by choosing to buy these in the organic section. I had always wondered about which ones I should insist on buying organic and which ones maybe don't make that much of a difference. I was surprised about the potatoes... for some reason I just thought about pesticides being sprayed on produce above the soil. Blonde moment, lol! And I might not have discovered this tidbit of information if I hadn't done my ten minute tidy the night before. It's still awhile until my month to focus on mindfulness (December), but it's never too early to make better choices involving your health and being mindful of what you put into your mouth! The book is pretty great, I may just have to go out and get a copy for myself!
Tuesday 6 March 2012
Birth Control
All day I was trying to decide what to blog about tonight. The only thing I could think about was, it's not even one week in... How much can one person read about my organising skills? So... I went back and read my first entry. My 10 Commandments. I had already forgotten about them!! A quick recap:
1. Be Alicia.
2. Let it go.
3. It doesn't have to be equal.
4. Fake it till you make it.
5. Do it now.
6. Identify the problem.
7. Lighten up.
8. You are exactly where you are supposed to be.
9. Be grateful. Always.
10. Enjoy the ride.
I got out pen and paper (because I still haven't bought ink for my printer) and wrote them down, and put the list by my Vision Board. My Vision Board is in my bedroom on top of my dresser. It is one of the first things I see when I wake up and last thing before I go to sleep. I'm hoping by focusing on my "rules", I will have an easier time with my resolutions. I just need to say, that some of these are very hard to accomplish when it is a few days till the full moon, I am crazy hormonal and my kids are home because the schools are on strike. Kids screaming around the house playing tag? Rule #2. Let it go. And I'm pretty sure I'm just going to erase #3. It doesn't have to be equal. Well, this week, I think it does. This is going to be one of the hardest rules for me to live by. My husband cooks, I clean up the mess. I get the kids bathed, he brushes teeth and does books. I've even refused to make lunches the night before because it's not fair if he's relaxing and I'm making lunches. How ridiculous. It only means in the morning, I'll be in a rush to get the kids ready, lunches packed, get myself ready and set up for my first appointment so Dylan can rush them out the door. If I could eliminate a task, I would have time to sit and enjoy my tea instead of sipping it cold while I'm doing my makeup. Because that just wouldn't be fair, lol! I am officially a crazy person. Amazing how typing it out can make you look at it from an outside perspective. Done. From now on, lunches will be made the night before. And while I'm at it, I'm stealing one of Gretchen's ideas. The evening tidy-up. Spend 10 minutes before bed tidying up, maybe I'll even set up for my first appointment too!. Genius. How nice will it be to just make toast for myself and the kids, sip my tea and flip through a mag in the morning? Pretty damn nice. Sounds better than my current routine of yelling and scurrying.
PS. I just quickly skimmed over my post before I published and thought, "Damn! This is great birth control"! Funny how two little beings that for the most part bring me so much joy, can reek such havoc on a relationship. I think that's why, in part, grandchildren bring so much joy to grandparents. It means their kids finally know what it took to raise them. My "Aha!" moment for the day.
PPS. My husband is currently playing XBOX (his guilty pleasure. And for the record, even though I make fun of him for being a massive dork, he is not a lazy bum who games all day. He is one of the most hard working people I know!) and I am about to make lunches and tidy up. But what I really want to do is watch one more episode of Kim and Kourtney take New York. So not fair. But... It doesn't always have to be!
1. Be Alicia.
2. Let it go.
3. It doesn't have to be equal.
4. Fake it till you make it.
5. Do it now.
6. Identify the problem.
7. Lighten up.
8. You are exactly where you are supposed to be.
9. Be grateful. Always.
10. Enjoy the ride.
I got out pen and paper (because I still haven't bought ink for my printer) and wrote them down, and put the list by my Vision Board. My Vision Board is in my bedroom on top of my dresser. It is one of the first things I see when I wake up and last thing before I go to sleep. I'm hoping by focusing on my "rules", I will have an easier time with my resolutions. I just need to say, that some of these are very hard to accomplish when it is a few days till the full moon, I am crazy hormonal and my kids are home because the schools are on strike. Kids screaming around the house playing tag? Rule #2. Let it go. And I'm pretty sure I'm just going to erase #3. It doesn't have to be equal. Well, this week, I think it does. This is going to be one of the hardest rules for me to live by. My husband cooks, I clean up the mess. I get the kids bathed, he brushes teeth and does books. I've even refused to make lunches the night before because it's not fair if he's relaxing and I'm making lunches. How ridiculous. It only means in the morning, I'll be in a rush to get the kids ready, lunches packed, get myself ready and set up for my first appointment so Dylan can rush them out the door. If I could eliminate a task, I would have time to sit and enjoy my tea instead of sipping it cold while I'm doing my makeup. Because that just wouldn't be fair, lol! I am officially a crazy person. Amazing how typing it out can make you look at it from an outside perspective. Done. From now on, lunches will be made the night before. And while I'm at it, I'm stealing one of Gretchen's ideas. The evening tidy-up. Spend 10 minutes before bed tidying up, maybe I'll even set up for my first appointment too!. Genius. How nice will it be to just make toast for myself and the kids, sip my tea and flip through a mag in the morning? Pretty damn nice. Sounds better than my current routine of yelling and scurrying.
PS. I just quickly skimmed over my post before I published and thought, "Damn! This is great birth control"! Funny how two little beings that for the most part bring me so much joy, can reek such havoc on a relationship. I think that's why, in part, grandchildren bring so much joy to grandparents. It means their kids finally know what it took to raise them. My "Aha!" moment for the day.
PPS. My husband is currently playing XBOX (his guilty pleasure. And for the record, even though I make fun of him for being a massive dork, he is not a lazy bum who games all day. He is one of the most hard working people I know!) and I am about to make lunches and tidy up. But what I really want to do is watch one more episode of Kim and Kourtney take New York. So not fair. But... It doesn't always have to be!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)