Her Legacy

As I contemplate the heavens, I have found myself thinking a lot about death. After all, death comes immediately before the heavens... does it not? What will my legacy be? What do I want people to say about me when I'm gone? More importantly, what do I want to teach my children before I leave this planet? Thinking about all of these things can't but help me feel grateful for the life I have been given, or if you prefer...chosen. I live in a place and time in this world where I, as a woman, have the right to choose what religion I want to follow (or not), who I marry if I decide to marry at all, how many children I want to have if any. I also get to choose what kind of person I want to be. A lawyer or doctor were out of the question for women less than 100 years ago, but the sky is the limit now. This post is not meant to be a women's rights rant, merely a way of expressing gratitude for things I often take for granted.

My parents are very different from one another and the lessons they have individually instilled in me have blended to create what drives me. What do my beliefs, lessons and actions say to my children? Are these the things I want them to remember me by?

Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of my husband's Nana's death. This morning I visited her grave for the first time since her burial and as I stood there, I was overcome by sadness. She was an amazing woman, mother, friend and wife, which only makes the pain of her death so much greater for the people she was closest too. Her legacy to her family is one of grace, dignity, respect and love. My husband and I met after my husband's Papa had passed away, but when Nana spoke of her husband, you could feel the love and respect she still had for him. It practically broke my heart every time she spoke of him, which she did often. The one thing that eased my husband's grief when she passed was that it was her belief that she was going to be reunited with him. What a beautiful gift she left for her family and friends.

I can only hope that the memories I leave for my children are as great as the ones she left for hers. The saying, "Live every day like it's your last" has been running through my head. If today was my last day on earth, would I have any regrets? I want my days to be filled with light, and to choose to never have a bad day, to forgive the people that have hurt me, even if I never say the words to them. If I don't have anything nice to say, I want to not say anything at all. I want to smile more, and inspire others to do the same... Or simply: Live. Laugh. Love.

We miss you Nana.