My co-worker.

I can't believe it's been over 2 weeks since I've posted last. My life feels as if it's been in fast forward and just now I've had the chance to hit play. At the beginning of April, I thought, what a bad month to be focusing on Marriage. My husband had just been notified he would be out of the country for 10 days and I had also planned my yearly holistic weekend getaway with my mom. How can you focus on your marriage when half the month will be spent apart?

It turns out that the old saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is actually true. And not just because I was single mom-ing it for a week, but because it really gives you a chance to step back and reflect on your behavior, your action or non-action. If that makes any sense at all... What I mean is I really had a chance to see what my husband does for the family on a daily basis and what I am able to accomplish because of everything he does. It may not seem like a big deal, but everyday when he takes the kids to school, it gives me the opportunity to go for a run without waking at the crack of dawn. I could go on, but mostly we have found the time to reconnect in small ways. I sucked ass at giving proofs of love, I definitely nagged but I didn't dump my problems on him that he couldn't solve, I didn't expect praise or appreciation and I tried my hardest to fight right.

Every year, my mom has headed off to Naramata, BC for the Spring Festival of Awareness. For some, it may be overwhelmingly "granola" or "hippyish" but it's an amazingly restful and spiritual weekend. It's a chance to reconnect with yourself and this year was more than I could have ever imagined for. My mother and I, along with two friends of mine, headed off for a weekend of bliss. I gained some serious insight into my life, what is truly important, shed some "baggage" and came home a new person. Without spending a moment with my husband, I felt more centered to tackle life... together.

It's been an emotional week for the both of us, each for different reasons. Tonight as we ate dinner, Dylan told me about the little girl he met in India this past week who was being ignored as she was trying to get the attention of some people outside of a restaurant. They thought she was trying to sell something but she kept pointing at the water bottle that belonged to a man standing next to my husband. It's not that they were bad people, it's just that they are so used to it they don't even see it anymore. The thought of any child wandering the streets, no parents, and begging for water is more than I can bear. (For the record, they did give her their water to drink). Thinking of that really puts life into perspective. For all the things I complain about, nothing can compare to the suffering that little girl endures on a daily basis. This weekend, one of the presenters in a workshop I attended said, "It's not that I expect I can stop all the children in Africa from starving, I just want to live in a world that gives a shit that there are children starving in Africa". The small mundane things that we bicker about (in marriage and in life) just don't feel important enough to waste energy on anymore.

All in all, I feel this month may not have been as "successful" as the past months, but it felt more real, more honest. I went deeper into it than I originally thought I would, and am so grateful for what has come out of it. Whoever said marriage is a full time job, really hit the nail on the head. I'm pretty lucky to have my hubby as my co-worker. :)