As my happiness project comes to a close, I am desperately trying to, once again, create balance in my life. The name of my blog, Balancing Act, is how I've come to think of life in general. A happy life is a balanced life... and an act that I will always be attempting to perfect.
I've also come to the realization that, alas... I am not superwoman. My seriously awesome husband has picked up the slack over the past few months, and I'm so grateful that he is so supportive of me going back to school. It's been hard on the entire family and I absolutely could not have done it without him. It's not only the days that I'm gone, but the endless hours of homework that have kept me from basically doing anything other than school related work since January. (I started this post on March 6th for god's sake! That's how often I get down time these days, lol!)
As one chapter is beginning, another is closing... I've made the difficult decision to cut my work hours drastically starting next term, with plans to close my esthetics business later this year. It means saying good bye to clients that I have come to love over the years... but I suppose there is always some sadness when a life chapter ends. Many of my clients have become friends and it will be a sad day when they are no longer a part of my everyday life.
The upside is, that I finally get why doing what you love for a living is the most amazing gift anyone could ever wish for. Although I am sleep deprived, never see my friends or my family, I have never felt so fulfilled in all my life. Design is in me... has been for as long as I can remember... Words cannot express my joy. I'm nearing the end of my first full time term as an Interior Design student... a dream I never thought I would realize. I'm still in awe.
2013 is a milestone year for me. A new life path... and my 30th birthday. I'm saying goodbye to my twenties, and I can't say I haven't had an amazing decade. I've figured out who I really am, what I want from life... what is worth fighting for (and I'm still learning to pick my battles). I've set the foundation for my future life, and I can't wait to see what I will encounter on this journey of mine.
Another huge milestone for 2013...My little girl is enrolled for Kindergarten in September which officially means my babies are no longer babies... My little boy turned 7 on Valentine's day and my sweet baby girl turned 5 a couple of weeks ago. We celebrated by getting her ears pierced, something that she has been begging to have done for about nine months... and something that her Daddy had a hard time with ;). I haven't had much time to spend with them lately, trying to work and go to school, so I've been trying to make our time together count. For Christmas, my sister bought the kids one of my favourite childhood books, James and the Giant Peach, by Roald Dahl, and I've really enjoyed reading a few chapters every evening with them. With both kids in school full-time this September, I'm also trying to really appreciate the weekday mornings I have left with just me and my little girl.
There are many things I have learned about myself, and life in general, throughout the process of completing a Happiness Project. Here are some of my favourite lessons...
- I crave a simple life. That doesn't mean I want my life to be simple... But for my busy life to be simply organized. The chaos of an unbalanced life is suffocating at times, but exhilarating too... meeting somewhere in the middle of those two extremes is my happy place.
- I work well under pressure.
- My husband is awesome... and sometimes not. But he works his ass off for his family, lives for his kids and loves me a lot. I appreciate him very much, but I don't tell him nearly as much as I should.
- Less is more.
- My kids are beautiful, talented, smart, caring, independent little people and I love them more than life itself. They make me laugh, and sometimes cry, and sometimes feel guilty that I don't see them enough... My biggest hope is that I am showing them it is never too late to follow your dreams... and that happiness is a choice you make everyday, and not an eventual goal. Independence is important, but so is being open to help.
- My friends are my family that I was able to choose. I have the best friends in the world, whether I see them every two years, or every two days. Everyone of them adds something amazing to my life and I am so incredibly lucky.
- My mom rules. Enough said.
- Find a way to honour the things that mean the most to you. Surround yourself with happy memories and make your home a haven. At the end of the day, your home should be a place that makes you feel warm and fuzzy.
- Take the time everyday to think of something that you are grateful for. And in the words of Sheryl Crow... It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you have. A grateful heart is a content heart is a happy heart.
- Loving yourself is the best gift you can give yourself. On my bad days I need to remind myself that I am doing the best that I can. And by doing my best, I have no regrets.
- Go with the flow.
- Fake it till you make it.
Moving forward, I hope that I can continue to learn from the Happiness Project. Little everyday choices have had a huge impact on my life... Small actions became huge reactions. I will continue blogging, although there may be stretches of time between posts. My blog remains a place for me to check in, write out my thoughts and bring clarity that often I didn't realize I was seeking. Thank you to everyone who has given me words of encouragement... it brings me more joy than you can know.
Alicia
xo
